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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30113325">All My Stars</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/plotholes_ahead/pseuds/plotholes_ahead'>plotholes_ahead</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Chaos and Art [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Outbound Flight - Timothy Zahn, Star Wars: Thrawn Series - Timothy Zahn (2017)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Chissy science, Drama, Ethical Dilemmas, F/M, Family, Flagrant abuse of Chiss family dynamics, Happy Ending, Implied statutory rape, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Made Up Biology, Mpreg, Multiple Orgasms, References to childhood trauma, Smut, Thrawn And His Secrets, Top!Eli, Xeno, art interpretation, bottom!Thrawn, healing chats with Eli, like it's the premise but it's not in detail, spoilers for my own unfinished fic, the sex is though</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 00:47:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>27,130</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30113325</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/plotholes_ahead/pseuds/plotholes_ahead</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Following the Ascendancy’s victory over the Grysks, Eli and Thrawn are deemed the nation's most intriguing and influential couple as they strive to rebuild their worlds. But after Eli stumbles upon a new discovery that has the potential to change his and Thrawn’s life forever, their unshakable unity takes a debilitating hit. How high will tensions rise before Thrawn explains his reservations and finally tells his husband the long overdue truth…</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Thrass | Mitth'ras'safis/Original Character(s), Thrawn | Mitth'raw'nuruodo/Eli Vanto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Chaos and Art [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1733725</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>56</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi all! So this fic has been mostly written since before I even began Part 3 of this series. I know Whatever Necessary has been sitting dormant for a while (and for some reason I can’t bring myself to write the last five chapters *facepalm*) but I got swept away with this one and really wanted to share it. (It is the reason I began this series in the first place, after all) It was really important to me to wait until this fic was completely finished before I began posting so I didn’t have yet another published work without a green check mark next to it. So yay! this fic is completed and I will update as often as I can. </p><p>Just a few housekeeping items: if you haven’t given up on Whatever Necessary and wish to wait until it is finished to begin this, I support that! However, I can’t guarantee when it will be completed. I hope to pick it back up soon and with this finally finished, perhaps I will. I suppose it goes without saying that this fic will contain spoilers for WN, but honestly it’s nothing you probably haven’t already deduced.<br/>I should also probably mention that there are bits of information included in this that were originally introduced in an <em>unposted</em> fic. Everything you need to know to make sense of this is included but there will be new concepts introduced that have yet to be touched on in this series.<br/>For the most part I stuck with what is now Legends material because that is how it was originally written. (I.e. Aristocra being the highest rank within the Families, the original Chiss Ruling Families, etc.)<br/>If you are reading this fic as a stand alone, you should be fine to do so, but it might be useful to read Chapters 8 and 9 of Don’t Tell Me (Part 1 of this series) to have a basic understanding as to why Thrawn was upset with Eli’s adoption, and the deal he struck with Thrass because of it. (That’s what I had to do, anyway. It’s been a minute.)<br/>And finally, I will preface chapters with the necessary warnings but please <em>heed the tags.</em> I didn’t use archive warnings because the events are either referenced or mentioned only, not explicitly detailed. As difficult as some of this was to write, it’s all crafted toward minimizing the hurt and maximizing the comfort/healing; this does have a happy ending, after all.<br/>With all that being said, I hope you enjoy the final installment of Chaos and Art. &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was summer on Csilla which meant the sun was shining, the frozen ground was coated in a thin layer of gloss, and the temperature was a balmy -5 degrees. Eli’van’to zipped his jacket up to his chin and yanked his gloves on, making sure every inch of his human skin was thoroughly protected before going outside. Thrawn could do this with less inconvenience, but he was on a conference call and was not to be disturbed for anything less than a global crisis. Which, given the circumstances, wasn’t much of a long shot.   </p><p>After retrieving the mail, Eli hurried back inside, having only been out in the elements for a mere 20 seconds and already unable to feel the tip of his nose. </p><p>Slipping out of his boots and tossing his jacket unceremoniously over the back of a chair, he flipped through the mail, shivering a little as he stepped further inside. The datafile he’d been expecting hadn’t arrived, so he skimmed the stack a second time with only mild interest. He kept his head bowed, able to make his way through their home and into the kitchen without a glance up. He swung a leg over a barstool, seating himself at the center island. </p><p>Bill. Bill. Junk. An Aristocra newsletter. He paused, brown eyes darting to his brother-in-laws seal at the bottom of the page, allowing himself a small smile. </p><p>Another bill. Junk. An invitation. </p><p>He jumped as two blue arms slid easily over his shoulders, draping loosely about his neck, “Good afternoon, Eli.”</p><p>Chuckling, Eli melted into the familiar warmth of his husband’s embrace as the Chiss peered over his shoulder. “Good afternoon.” </p><p>“What do you have there?” Thrawn wondered, the low purr tickling the shell of Eli’s ear. He craned his neck, pressing his lips to the clean-shaven curve of Eli’s jaw.</p><p>Eli let out a soft hum and waved the half sheet of flimsi in the air. “Do you wanna go?” </p><p>It was the third sheet they’d received, reminding them that they were invited to celebrate the one-year anniversary of the end of the war, what people were calling The Rebirth. </p><p>As if they could’ve forgotten. </p><p>“Hmm,” was all Thrawn said. He meant ‘no’ and they both knew it, but he wasn’t particularly inclined to have that argument right now. “How is it you are the only being welcomed into <em>two</em> Chiss Families?” </p><p>Eli turned narrowed eyes on him. “You only say that because the number of events you’re expected to attend has doubled.”</p><p>“You cannot fault me for disapproving of our wealthiest dignitaries competing for the favor of my oath-bound lifemate,” Thrawn countered dryly.</p><p>Eli couldn’t help but play into his husband's melodramatics. “Oh it’s tempting, too. Flirting and flattery, monetary offers. I scratch their back, they scratch mine...”</p><p>Thrawn frowned.</p><p>“Favors; services,” Eli put forth, teasingly. <em>“Explicit</em> services. I <em>am</em> a hot commodity, after all.”</p><p>Thrawn harrumphed, a deep line creasing his brow. “I do not like to share, Eli.”</p><p>The human’s chuckle rumbled deep in his throat, low and dulcet. Eli did not like to share, either, and he would certainly never expect that of Thrawn. He gripped the others’ forearm, hanging easily around his shoulders, wordlessly communicating their solidarity in the matter. Although they joked, their lives had indeed become more publicly scrutinized over the last year or so. From the Families to the CEDF’s military operations, Eli recognized the subtlety that was required to master the political arena. He understood how crucial it would be in the first couple years following the war. Thrawn was also aware, and he hated it.</p><p>They were married now, but because Eli had already accepted the Fourth Family’s adoption offer he was able to remain attached to the family even after he’d been bonded, while also gaining status among the Mitth with his ties to Thrawn. The Mitth, now the fifth Ruling Family following the war, managed to secure the last place among the Five Ruling after all that Thrawn’s brother had accomplished. Eli suspected, although it was never voiced, that it was more of a requirement for him to remain partially matched to House Sabosen and not so much of a <em>gift.</em></p><p>There were still those among the Families who threw him skeptical glances as they passed, largely in part to him keeping his human family name. Humans kept their familial birth names after marriage all the time; it wasn’t a novel concept to Eli and therefore did not bother him. The majority of Chiss were much different. Thrawn, however, was not upset by his choice in the slightest and truthfully, Thrawn’s opinion was the only one that mattered to Eli. </p><p>Their situation was, frankly, unheard of. A human and a Chiss with ties to two Families, married and serving in the CDF, and after the war Thrawn had been promoted to Admiral and was <em>still</em> allowed a place of prestige among the Mitth. Unusual, and perhaps a little… suspicious.</p><p>Rising from his stool, still wrapped securely in Thrawn’s arms, Eli turned to face him and whispered, “I’m <em>yours,</em> Thrawn, first and foremost; forever.”</p><p>“As I am yours,” Thrawn replied in his most velvety tone, bending low to nuzzle the curve of Eli’s neck with his nose. “To do with as you please.”</p><p>Eli’s eyebrows quirked up. “Is that so?” he murmured mischievously when Thrawn pressed his lips to the pulse point of Eli’s neck. “Are you sure you want to grant me that much power?”</p><p>Thrawn snaked his arms further around him, minimizing the space between their bodies to nothingness. “You can have it.”</p><p>There was a double-ping at the front entrance, stopping Eli just before his lips met Thrawn’s. He closed his eyes, sighing in frustration as Thrawn tilted his head back to the ceiling and let out a low growl. </p><p>“Your brother.”</p><p>“Mmhmm.”</p><p>Eli chuckled at his husband’s agitation. “It’s fine. I have to go into the office, anyway.”</p><p>Thrawn frowned and regretfully released Eli as he began packing his bag. “It is your day off.”</p><p>“I know,” Eli said with a partial shrug. “But I have some files to transfer, plus I’m still waiting on one. It might be at the office.” He kissed his cheek. “I won’t be long.”</p><p>Thrawn followed him to the back of their residence where their shuttle was grounded near the cliff’s edge. </p><p>“I will be at Thrass’ if you would like to join us after,” Thrawn told him, red eyes hopeful. </p><p>Eli threw him a grin over his shoulder as he left. “See you there.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Eli keyed himself into the nation’s Interim Bureau, his footsteps echoing in the empty chamber against the simple tile flooring. There were very few people in the building this afternoon, so he managed to make his way swiftly to the tech lab without a single interference.</p><p>For the last year he’d been working on a training program tailored to the Ascendancy’s navigator recruiters. Since they had all but mastered how to enhance the girls individual abilities, the focus had shifted now to discovering how to gather more of them; how to detect a specific strain of DNA, one that showed a stronger aptitude for Third Sight. He worked closely with a handful of Inrokini scientists, and he and Vah’nya exchanged messages almost daily as she headed up the remodeled Navigator program on Naporar. </p><p>His work kept him grounded for long periods of time so he could be here, with Thrawn. Thrawn was one of the four Admirals, and although he still commanded the <em>K’tici,</em> being the eldest, he was often needed at the Capital for projection calculations, drafting, and reform. So he, too, was grounded nearly all of the time. </p><p>Since the war had ended, they had grown stronger together; stable — secure in who they were individually, but even more so as a pair — the Ascendancy’s beacon of vitality and hope for a new beginning. He carried that insurmountable pressure of those expectations wherever he went, and he knew Thrawn did as well. </p><p>It didn’t take him long to transfer the necessary files to Vah’nya after learning that his file hadn’t yet been received. He left the lab, striding in silence back to the main hall and lobby. This building was different from the one he’d first met Thrass in, all those years ago. That building had been destroyed in The Dichotomy. This one was smaller, more modest, but no less beautiful. Family flags were not flown here, rather the singular flag of the New Ascendancy. </p><p>Walking along the large glass windows of the building, he spotted a familiar face, a woman he’d met with Thrass a few times. She wasn’t a syndic, but she was a well known member of the First Family and had always been kind to Eli. </p><p>“Lakiya,” Eli greeted her with a smile when they met just inside the doors. </p><p>“Eli,” the woman said, surprised. Her voice sounded melodic, light and airy and full of elegance. “How are you?”</p><p>“Well, thank you,” he answered. “And you?”</p><p>“Likewise,” she said, smiling graciously and turning to the man beside her. “Have you met my partner?”</p><p>“I don’t believe so,” Eli recalled, extending his hand and doing word-math in his head when the man introduced himself. “Doshiro? Are you... House Nuruodo?”</p><p>“I am.”</p><p>“Our strongest military family,” Eli continued, impressed. “Did you serve in the war?”</p><p>Eli instantly gathered that he’d said the wrong thing when the man’s back stiffened. The Nuruodo Family led the organization of the CDF and controlled the majority of shipyards throughout the Ascendancy. Eli’s assumption that someone who hailed from that family would be inherently tied to the war was not wrong, per se, but it was presumptuous.    </p><p>“You know much about our people,” Doshiro stated. </p><p>Eli chose to accept that as a compliment. “I would hope so,” he replied with a congenial chuckle. “I’ve lived among you long enough.”</p><p>“Your dedication to our worlds is admirable, but no, I did not serve in the war,” the man kept his voice low. “But my brother was one of many lost to us the day the <em>Steadfast</em> fell.”</p><p>Eli’s heart sank. “I’m sorry to hear that.” </p><p>The last couple of years had devastated the Ascendancy. The war had touched everyone in some way, even those who chose to remain on the periphery. It left behind a nation shattered by their own greed and desire for dominance. The mere whisper of another conflict, internal or otherwise, sent discord skirting through every Chiss home. They were still recovering from the immeasurable losses; homelands, families, loved ones, their sense of security. Everyone, everywhere, had had to sacrifice something. The Ascendancy had won the war, but at what cost? </p><p>“Thank you,” Doshiro said weakly. “We are expecting our first child soon,” he explained with a glance toward his partner. “With plans to honor my brother by passing on his given name to our son.” </p><p>“Congratulations,” Eli exclaimed with a smile. His eyes reflexively traveled over Lakiya. She was a slender woman, showing not a single sign of pregnancy.</p><p>Guessing his confusion, the woman laid a hand on the man’s arm, the edges of her eyes softening with the tender, loving look she gave him. “Doshiro is carrying for us.”</p><p>Eli turned his attention to the Chiss man, trying to mask the surprise on his face, and failing. “Oh.” </p><p>Lakiya gave him a kind, but slightly confused once over. “Surely it does not come as a surprise that Chiss men can also carry.”</p><p>“Oh, I’m aware,” Eli reassured her. “I just… I haven’t ever met anyone who has before.”</p><p>Lakiya made a barely audible noise that Eli took for haughtiness. She spoke slowly. “How <em>is</em> Mitth’raw’nuruodo?” </p><p>The implication was all too obvious. </p><p>“He’s good. Gr-great, actually,” Eli stammered. He thought he’d outgrown his cheeks burning crimson when embarrassed. </p><p>The two Chiss were looking at him with gazes full of what he took to be pity. He told himself it was because he was blushing harder than a school boy who’d been caught passing love letters, not due to the fact that his husband was one of the few Chiss men who could conceive and hadn’t. </p><p>“And of course you’ve heard about your Family’s discovery?” Lakiya asked. She started to chuckle before Eli could claim that he hadn’t. “Not that it’s incredibly recent.” She registered Eli’s vacant expression and graciously added, “But I imagine you’ve been busy with... other things.”</p><p>Eli forced himself to smile. “I have not heard of any discovery, but I will look into it.”</p><p><em>At my earliest convenience so I can get the kriff out of this conversation.</em> </p><p>“I suggest you do,” the woman said with a small grin. “Good day, Captain.” </p><p>“Nice to meet you,” Eli said to Doshiro, and wished them both a good day.</p><p>Once they disappeared around a corner, Eli hurried back to the lab and plopped himself down in front of a terminal. Was there a newsletter or something he hadn’t received? How the hell was he supposed to know what his Family researchers were up to? Jotting a mental note to look up all the recent studies, he vowed not to be caught off guard or humiliated in such a way again. For now, he just wanted to know what Lakiya had been talking about.</p><p>It didn’t take him long to find it.</p><p>Years ago, when he and Thrawn were stationed on the <em>Thunder Wasp,</em> Thrawn had told him he was one of the rare Chiss males who could bear children. At the time, Thrawn had said humans were incompatible with Chiss. According to Eli’s blue-clad Family, he was wrong.  </p><p>Eli frowned at the screen, mind-blown. Scrolling, he found dozens of diagrams and charts and although data analysis was his specialty, Eli knew that the information presented was only the tip of the iceberg. Beneath the diagrams were the names of the researching Families. The Inrokini were leaders in scientific exploration, while Eli’s adoptive family held jurisdiction over a number of factions, including healthcare.</p><p>Eli froze.</p><p>
  <em>No kriffin’ way.</em>
</p><p>He flipped through the many files, searching for the most recent data, half afraid he’d find his own name somewhere, especially if the Families took into account that he and Thrawn were <em>married</em> now. </p><p>His heart was pounding when he finally leaned back in his seat, hands fisted in his brown hair and mouth hanging open. </p><p>All the special treatment, all the “exceptions.” It all made sense now. Eli was the only matched human in the Ascendancy, as far as he knew. Ronan had renounced his affiliation to the Chaf Family before heading back to Lesser Space. So whichever family Eli belonged to, had a rarity among them and were sure to know it. The Fourth Family already recognized his value. Of course they would want to keep him in the family even after he and Thrawn were bonded, to produce an offspring and to have their name attached to the phenomenon that would be the only currently living half-human, half-Chiss. </p><p>What prestige that would bring.</p><p>Eli waited, tapping his foot impatiently on the floor while the articles printed. Once he’d printed off everything he could find, he quickly hurried from the building to inform the others of the good news.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>In order to simply keep my head above water and what not, I’ve decided to disable comments on this fic. If it’s possible, I’ll allow them for the Epilogue in case someone wants to share their overall thoughts. &lt;3 Thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As Eli strode through the elaborately decorated hall of Thrass’s home towards the Chiss’s informal dining room, his eyes scanned the burgundy accented walls, adorned with paintings and floral arrangements and antique weapons. He eyed a lengthy metal sword mounted on the wall as he passed by. Thrass’s home on Csilla was not as large as the Mitth Mansion on Copero, but it was a close second. Really, Eli would expect nothing less from the Aristocra of the Mitth Family, and he certainly wouldn’t expect anything less of Thrass, his brother-in-law. </p>
<p>“Good afternoon, Captain,” he was greeted by a member of Thrass’ staff. </p>
<p>Eli smiled at the man and nodded a greeting to his and Thrawn’s own guard, Heron, who stood gazing out the tall corridor window. Eli hurried through the double-doored entrance and caught sight of the two brothers seated across from one another and immersed in quiet conversation. The sight before him — the sophisticated design of the room, the lavish decor and the guards posted at every entrance —was only comparable to what he’d seen of the ancient Kings and Queens. He’d never understood it before, coming from Wild Space, but he’d been among the Chiss long enough to know now that being raised by a ‘Ruling’ family meant that one was indeed royalty. Eli had married into it. Did that mean he was royal as well?   </p>
<p>“Ah, human,” Thrass said with a bright smile when he caught sight of him. Thrawn rose gracefully from his seat when he saw who had entered the room.</p>
<p>Eli’s strides came to a halt at the head of a long, wooden table, draped with a detailed burgundy runner. Both men eyed him curiously at first before their gazes shifted to the stack of flimsi in his arms. Eli called over his shoulder. “Ric, Heron, would you mind leaving us, please?”</p>
<p>The two men gave curt nods before closing the doors. They were left in silence.</p>
<p>“You don’t even live here,” Thrass murmured, appalled that the men working for him would follow Eli’s orders without so much as a glance towards him.</p>
<p>“I have news,” Eli told the brothers, with a lingering look at Thrawn. “It’s good news.”</p>
<p>He dropped the stack on the table in front of him. Thrawn read <em>"Reproduction"</em> upside down from the title of the first page and promptly sat back down. Thrass slid the top sheet off the pile and held it at arms length to read. After a moment his eyes left the text to glance sharply at Thrawn, carefully tucking a strand of long, obsidian hair behind his ear, a little too stiff and deliberate to be considered casual.</p>
<p>Eli began to explain. “The third and fourth families have conducted research for the last half decade, searching for which species are compatible with Chiss. Turns out: it’s <em>humans.”</em></p>
<p>Silence — apart from Thrass’s small ‘hmm.’ Thrawn had yet to even move.</p>
<p>“Can you believe that?” Eli asked, smiling. He grabbed for a page off the top of the stack and slid it across the table before his husband. “A half-Chiss, half-human child! Isn’t that incredible?”</p>
<p>“Interesting,” Thrawn said flatly.</p>
<p>“Very interesting, Eli,” Thrass added, his tone turning studious. “And… is that something you’d like to do? Have a child with Thrawn?”</p>
<p>Eli frowned. They were acting even more bizarre than usual. </p>
<p>“I mean… I think it’s worth looking into,” Eli said, taken aback at the hesitation he sensed. “It would be… extraordinary. We should at least consider it. Discuss pros and cons or… <em>something.”</em> </p>
<p>Neither of the Chiss stirred. Neither reacted at all. A long moment passed, one in which Eli slowly began to understand.</p>
<p>He frowned, his voice going icy cold. “Unless the two of you have already had that discussion.”</p>
<p>His eyes flicked back and forth between the brothers. “You knew, didn’t you? You <em>both</em> knew? This whole time?”</p>
<p>Thrass glanced at his brother, then placed a hand on his chest and tried to appear innocent. “I suspected-”</p>
<p>“Don’t lie to me,” Eli snapped.</p>
<p>Thrass looked at Thrawn, prompting his attempt at calming his husband.</p>
<p>“Yes, we knew,” Thrawn told him honestly. “We both did.”</p>
<p>“-throw me under the hover bus-” Thrass murmured.</p>
<p>“How could you not tell me?” Eli asked, frowning at Thrawn with a pained expression.</p>
<p>“Because it is not desirable.”</p>
<p>“For you maybe,” Eli said, outraged. “How can you make that decision for the both of us without even talking about it?”</p>
<p>“Have you given any thought to it’s progression?” Thrawn asked, red eyes finally meeting his. “We are members of the fleet. Our people are struggling to rebuild after the war, we are needed-”</p>
<p>“But you didn’t <em>even tell me.”</em></p>
<p>“It is illogical, given our circumstance.”</p>
<p>Eli scoffed, anger bubbling inside of him. “It’s perfectly <em>logical,</em> Thrawn. Furthering the advancement of your species-”</p>
<p>“Would be a science experiment,” Thrawn said, standing alongside Eli.</p>
<p>“The Chiss are a proud people, Eli,” Thrass tried reasoning. “You remember the skepticism you received when coming here. Imagine how a half-human, half-Chiss would be treated.”</p>
<p>“Are you willing to submit our child to that?” Thrawn asked him, scornfully.</p>
<p>“Ok,” Eli rebuffed, blinking in confusion. “So if not for science then what about for us, Thrawn? I’ve seen you with our sky-walkers; you don’t mind <em>them.”</em></p>
<p>“Not being repulsed by children is not a good enough reason to bring one into this world.”</p>
<p>“But it would be <em>our</em> child, Thrawn,” Eli argued.</p>
<p>“In this world — in this way — it would not be <em>ours,</em> Eli,” Thrawn shot back. “It would be the Ascendancy’s.”</p>
<p> “You expect me to believe you’d let anyone harm them?” Eli asked, half-laughing.</p>
<p>“Thrawn’s too old-” Thrass cut in. </p>
<p>“No, he’s not. Especially not with the care he’d receive with the Families support.”</p>
<p>“They’d make you relinquish your military ranks,” Thrass told him. “As an Admiral, Thrawn isn’t permitted a family. Would you really ask him to sacrifice the only thing he has going for him?”</p>
<p>Thrawn narrowed his eyes at his brother to which Thrass shot back an ‘I’m trying’ look.</p>
<p>“You both know the Families wouldn’t enforce that. There is something they’ve wanted from us, and this is it,” Eli said firmly.</p>
<p>“The <em>families</em> shouldn’t even be involved in something like this at all,” Thrass persisted. “A child is <em>your</em> family, your bloodline. Like Thrawn said… not a science experiment.”</p>
<p>Eli looked back and forth between Thrass and Thrawn, noting with a sickening, infuriating fire in his gut that Thrawn had grown awfully quiet.</p>
<p>“Are you serious?” Eli asked them both, realization dawning in his brown eyes. It was quiet for a long moment while Eli studied their faces.</p>
<p>He turned to Thrass. “I suppose he made you promise to be on his side if I ever found out?” Thrass didn’t respond so he rounded on Thrawn. “Is that what you did? Sabotaged this discussion before it even began? And no offense, Thrass, but you shouldn’t even have a say.”</p>
<p>Thrass held up his hands, clearly agreeing with him. “Please, leave me out of it, then.”</p>
<p>“You’re already involved,” Eli snapped, staring at his husband who was still refusing to meet his gaze. His red eyes were fixed on a knot in the wood as if trying to burn a hole through it. </p>
<p>Eli regarded Thrass again. “You’re seriously going to let this coward dictate the way you think?” he accused angrily, pointing at Thrawn.</p>
<p>Thrass’s eyes narrowed. “He is not a <em>coward,</em> Eli, you know that. And while I can formulate my own opinion, thank you, I happen to agree with Thrawn.”</p>
<p>Eli took a few slow and steadying breaths, reminding himself that he’d dealt with more difficult injustices in the past, and he’d gotten through those just fine. He just never imagined this kind of betrayal would come from Thrawn. Or Thrass. His gaze pleaded with the other Chiss. “What do you really think, Thrass?”</p>
<p>The Mitth leader did not glance at his brother. Rather, his eyes remained fixed on Eli’s, his conviction unwavering. And then, like a splintered crack in durasteel armor, Eli saw the sentiment seep through and Thrass shook his head.</p>
<p>Eli knew it was unlikely he was going to win this one. He took a step closer to Thrawn so they were standing toe-to-toe. “Partners, huh?” he narrowed his eyes at his bond-mate. “How can we be partners in this, or anything, if we <em>both</em> don’t have all the information? I thought you keeping things from me ended during the war.”</p>
<p>Thrawn said nothing.</p>
<p>“If you don’t want to have a child with me — fine,” Eli pressed, lips pursing briefly. “But don’t lie and pit your brother against me so you can get your way.”</p>
<p>He took a step back and without taking his eyes off Thrawn he said. “Thrass, your loyalty to your brother is commendable, even if there is no honor in defending something so irrational.”</p>
<p>“There is a reason, Eli-” Thrass said softly.</p>
<p>“I haven’t heard one,” Eli said, staring at Thrawn. He switched to Basic. “I assume that is by design.” Thrawn lifted his eyes to his. “Right?”</p>
<p>He waited, expecting Thrawn to explain why he’d decided this for them and why he thought Eli unworthy of an explanation. Not to mention why Eli hadn’t even been invited into the <em>conversation</em> that had led to the decision.</p>
<p>Still, he got nothing from Thrawn but three steady blinks while they stood there in utter silence. So without another word, Eli took his leave, and Thrawn and Thrass were left alone. Thrawn practically collapsed back into his chair, lowering his head into his hands as the double doors slammed shut.</p>
<p>“You knew this would happen,” Thrass said softly after a minute.</p>
<p>“It does not make it any easier.”</p>
<p>Thrass eyed his brother. “And you’re sure-”</p>
<p>“Thrass.”</p>
<p>“I know, but now that <em>he</em> knows…” Thrass paused, taking a deep breath. “You’re about to have another war on your hands.”</p>
<p><em>Another war.</em> </p>
<p>How-long-Thrawn-could-abstain-from-letting-his-husband-fuck-him, he meant. </p>
<p>“Are you ever going to tell him <em>why?”</em> </p>
<p>Thrawn pushed himself out of his chair and moved to exit the room. </p>
<p>Thrass took that as a no. He called after him, a roguish smile on his lips. “You’d better make sure you know where your meds are, and what exactly it is you’re taking.” </p>
<p>“It would be illegal for him to tamper with them,” Thrawn said over his shoulder.</p>
<p>Thrass scoffed. “Like you’ve never broken the law, brother,” he called, “to get what you want.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>From down the hall Eli heard the <em>bap, bap</em> of fists against punching bags and the clacking of sticks against wooden dummies. As he approached the sparring dojo, Thrawn’s guard came into view, standing just outside the room. The war was over, and although situations were sometimes volatile within the Ascendancy, Eli could rest easy knowing Heron’s loyalty remained to Thrawn. </p>
<p>The man nodded to Eli as the human approached. “Good afternoon, sir.”</p>
<p>Eli peered into the room. “How long has he been in there?” </p>
<p>Heron straightened and inhaled. “A while.”</p>
<p>Eli took a breath, steeling himself, and strode inside. It was larger than the dojo they had at home and was currently laden with broken pieces of wood that lay strewn across the floor. A variety of weapons lined the wall or sat waiting on the ground to be picked up once more. Fighting sticks, stun guns, knives, bows, and a long sword of some kind. Three bags hung from the ceiling and two dummies swiveled along their tracks. Thrawn was stationed in the middle of all of it and had no weapon currently; striking out at his inanimate opponents with his bare hands.</p>
<p>He let out a ferocious sounding growl as he slammed one of the dummies into a bag with inhuman force, sending it ricocheting back toward him in practice for a quick retaliatory attack. Dodging it, he crouched low in a defensive position, waiting for the dummy to come back around. Eli stood off to the side, just watching and waiting for Thrawn to acknowledge his presence; he knew Thrawn was aware of it. </p>
<p>It wasn’t until a good three minutes had passed when Eli finally stepped forward. “Are you just going to keep ignoring me?” Eli called in Basic. The two of them often spoke Basic if there was a likely chance that other Chiss could overhear. </p>
<p>Thrawn grabbed hold of one of the dummies. He yanked it off its track and threw it against the ground, shattering it to pieces. One of the shards skidded to a halt in front of Eli. The human glanced at it and then up at Thrawn, a single eyebrow lifting. </p>
<p>The Chiss was staring at him, red eyes blazing, chest heaving with labored breathing, sweat dripping from his body. He’d chosen not to don a shirt for today’s activities and, despite it all, Eli had to admit he wasn’t upset about that. </p>
<p>“Am I supposed to be impressed-”</p>
<p>“What are you doing here?” </p>
<p>Eli scoffed. “Hello to you, too, husband,” he said with a tight smile.</p>
<p>Thrawn took another slow breath and straightened, his shoulders relaxing a little. “I apologize. I am… busy. What can I do for you?”</p>
<p>Eli’s eyebrows rose. “Busy? Too busy to come home for three nights now? Or too busy to answer any of my <em>five</em> messages?” </p>
<p>“I have been here,” Thrawn told him plainly.</p>
<p>“So I’ve been told,” Eli said, striding around the room and kicking fallen debris out of his path as he made his way around Thrawn in one full circle before stopping to face him, shoulders sagging. “What is happening?”</p>
<p>Thrawn regarded him with a slight frown.</p>
<p>“We disagree over one thing and you run away?”</p>
<p>“I did not find the conversation worth pursuing as I assumed it would lead to an argument.”</p>
<p>Eli bit out a cynical laugh.</p>
<p>“I have already put forth my opinion,” Thrawn explained. “As you have yours. We do not agree and I do not believe either one of us can be swayed.”</p>
<p>“So your conclusion is never to talk about it? To hide away at your brother’s?” Eli shook his head. “I’m disappointed, Thrawn, usually your schemes are so much more elaborate.”</p>
<p>“Heron,” Thrawn called.</p>
<p>The guard appeared in the doorway. “Yes, sir.”</p>
<p>Thrawn’s eyes remained on Eli when he spoke, low and calm. “Please escort my husband back to our home.”</p>
<p>Heron frowned in uncertainty, eyes darting to Eli. He seemed about to reluctantly oblige...</p>
<p>“Hang on, Heron,” Eli said, holding up a hand to deter him. He spoke to Thrawn. “The Celebration is tomorrow evening.”</p>
<p>Thrawn inclined his head.</p>
<p>“We are expected to attend.”</p>
<p>Another spiritless nod.</p>
<p>The human took four quiet steps forward until he was standing directly before Thrawn. “Can I count on you to be there?”</p>
<p>“My brother will see to it that I am.”</p>
<p>Eli searched his red eyes, understanding fully. “Your brother.”</p>
<p>Thrawn inclined his head again.</p>
<p>“I see,” Eli whispered. “Well, then.”</p>
<p>He turned to leave, got as far as one step before turning back around.</p>
<p>“Nothing can stop me loving you,” Eli told him firmly. “Just come home, Thrawn.”</p>
<p>This time, Eli was disappointed when Thrawn didn’t nod.</p>
<p>“I can find my own way home, Heron,” Eli informed the man at the door, falling back into comfortable Cheunh. “You don’t need to accompany me. Will you just make sure he doesn’t kill himself?”</p>
<p>Heron straightened. “I will try, sir.”</p>
<p>With a glance back at the already reengaged Chiss, Eli added. “We’ll be among the masses tomorrow, a black eye won’t be pleasant.”</p>
<p>Heron smirked. “I do believe, sir, that his fellow Chiss would only approve of you more.”</p>
<p>Eli took his leave, chuckling under his breath at Heron’s darker humor.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The ride up Csaplar’s main boulevard in Thrass’ personal shuttle was beautiful with the setting sun glinting off the civic superstructure ahead as they followed the succession of vehicles along the winding path. Their driver turned onto a lane lined on either side with massive ice boulders leading up to the grand entrance. The boulders were each carved into smooth, perfect spheres and between them stood brightly lit flaming cressets, spaced evenly along the path to light the way for the many guests. Eli counted every third one just to pass the time. </p>
<p>No one had spoken since they’d left.</p>
<p>They would all be arriving at the Celebration together. To save face, really, and because Thrass was making them. Eli and Thrawn sat side by side with Thrass and Nemma behind them. Despite the awkward tension weighing on everyone in the car, Eli smiled to himself. He thought back to the last time the four of them had attended an event like this. Eli and Thrawn had not been bonded, the war hadn’t even begun, and Nemma was not yet in their lives. </p>
<p>The woman caught his eye and grinned. </p>
<p>Eli felt incredibly grateful to have her; she had grown into a dear friend and, as of late, spoke more with him than his own spouse. She was also the only one he felt comfortable discussing his and Thrawn’s predicament with.</p>
<p>When they exited the tube car at the base of the torch-lined staircase and stepped onto the velvety, multi-colored carpet, Nemma linked her arm with his for the walk up, leaving the other two men to ascend alone. Eli noticed the decorations, comparing this gala to the ones he recalled in the past. There were no individual family flags flying, only those of the Ascendancy. Families were important, yes — they still made up their governing body — but the focus now was unity. A hard-won, progressive concept that still saw resistance but was essential for the Chiss to rebuild. Eli still remembered the events of the war vividly; daily. They still tore at him, haunted his dreams and turned his late hours into sleepless nights. He often wondered if he had done just one thing differently—</p>
<p>“Eli,” Nemma whispered urgently, breaking into his thoughts. “Look who’s here.”</p>
<p>A girl, barely out of childhood, stood smiling and greeting guests at the front doors beside two others a little younger than she. They wore navy blue patches sewn onto the right shoulder of their uniform, a brilliant gold symbol sewn on their left, and they were all dressed in dazzling white.</p>
<p>“Our hosts,” Nemma said lightly.</p>
<p>Eli couldn’t help his broad smile. “Leave it to the Ascendancy’s sky-walkers to throw the party of the year.”</p>
<p>The moment the girl caught sight of Eli striding up the steps, he could tell she was anxious to leave her post. But she waited patiently, her eyes seeming to glow brighter, knowing that setting a good example for the younger navigator’s was part of her job now. </p>
<p>“Navigator Un’hee,” he greeted her with a small nod.</p>
<p>“Captain Vanto,” she replied with a beaming smile. With a short bow she greeted Thrawn as he appeared behind Eli. “Admiral.”</p>
<p>“It is good to see you, Navigator Un’hee,” Thrawn said formally. Eli could hear the masked familiarity in his tone, attempting to keep this reunion professional. “How are you liking your new position?”</p>
<p>“Very much, thank you,” she said, smiling. “I am…” she hesitated, searching for the proper words. “It is calmer.”</p>
<p>Thrawn chuckled. “I do not doubt it, and am glad to hear you approve.”</p>
<p>“I only have you to thank, Admiral,” she said, a touch of deeper sincerity creeping into her voice. Their gazes met a moment longer. She cleared her throat. “You look good in white, sir.”</p>
<p>He winked at her. “Not as good as you.”</p>
<p>She stood a little taller, her chin held a little higher. </p>
<p>“Perhaps we will see you inside?”</p>
<p>She nodded, smiling as Thrawn, Thrass, and Nemma made their way through the doors.</p>
<p>“I wonder, Navigator Un’hee,” Eli said, projecting his voice just a little. “If I might have a word?”</p>
<p>She frowned up at him.</p>
<p>“Top-secret,” he said with an air of fictitious business, aware of the other children watching them. “Matters of national security. Very important stuff.” </p>
<p>The girl would have rolled her eyes if she didn’t have four awe-struck sky-walkers staring at them and wondering why a superior officer was asking to speak with her in private.</p>
<p>“Of course, Captain.”</p>
<p>She followed him around the corner to a spot out of ear shot from the other guests mulling around in the foyer. </p>
<p>“What now?” she asked with a fond smile, folding her arms. “Did you lose your questis again?”</p>
<p>Eli scoffed in mock offense. “No, I just…” he paused, looking her over. “How are you?”</p>
<p>She stared at him a moment, a small smile tugging at the corners of her thin lips. He half-feared it would fade, but it didn’t.   </p>
<p>“You honestly want to know?” she asked him.</p>
<p>He straightened, alert and concern immediately coursing through his veins. “Yes I want to know. What is it? What happened?”</p>
<p>She took one step forward and wrapped her arms tightly around his waist. “I have missed you,” she said into his black and blue uniform before leaning back and looking up at him. “That is all. I am doing fine, Eli. Working with Vah’nya is wonderful. The Safehouses are secure. I’m not being shot at. I don’t miss the battles. I… I just miss seeing you.”</p>
<p>He opened his mouth to respond.</p>
<p>“And no,” she interrupted. “It doesn’t bother me.” </p>
<p>His mouth snapped shut, eyes unintentionally flicking to the scar that stretched across her forehead from that first battle. He lowered himself to take a knee before her, holding her at arm's length. </p>
<p>“As relieved as I am to hear all of that… don’t <em>do</em> that to me,” he said, breaking into a warm smile. “You know I’m a sensitive human.”</p>
<p>She laughed. “No, no you are not a “sensitive human,” you are <em>the most</em> sensitive human. Not to mention the most worrisome. Don’t think I don’t know how long you haunted the medbay after-”</p>
<p>“Okay, okay…”</p>
<p>“And then once you’d left, Vah’nya told me you commed the Safehouse four times a cycle just to make sure I was still <em>breathing.”</em></p>
<p>
  <em>“I was worried.”</em>
</p>
<p>“I know!” she exclaimed, laughing. “I thought I might comm <em>you</em> just to be sure you hadn’t suffered a heart attack. Stress is bad for humans, you know.”</p>
<p>He pulled her against his chest and she finally quieted, returning the embrace with a soft chuckle. </p>
<p>“I missed you, too, Un’hee.”</p>
<p>He felt her breathe against him, felt her relax in his arms and then squeeze a little tighter, pulling at the back of his uniform with clenched fists. Her red eyes shone when they separated.</p>
<p>“Hey,” he said, tapping his knuckle under her chin as he stood. “Chin up.”</p>
<p>She did, smiling despite the glossy sheen of her eyes.</p>
<p>“We’ll see each other later, hm?”</p>
<p>Her smile broadened. “Yes, sir.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thrawn stood with his back toward the dance floor, chin resting comfortably between his pale blue forefinger and thumb. He stood as far from the orchestra as was physically possible without actually leaving the room, in the far corner of the Grand Hall. He had never particularly enjoyed music, but he’d found uses for it in the past. Presently, it only served to distract him from his current analysis every time the crowd was prompted to shout during the chorus. </p>
<p>This Celebration was pivotal to the morale of the Chiss people. They had shown incredible resilience and fortitude in the face of a terrifying enemy and in the devastating betrayal of their fellow Chiss. Since then, great strides had been made to repair what damage had been dealt, rebuilding trust among the Families and across their territories. Preserving their worlds and way of life was made possible by closing down their borders. Thrawn was certain they would venture out past Chiss space once again — they would need to, but only when their people had had more time to heal. He wasn’t wholly sure it would happen in his lifetime. </p>
<p>As much as this party was a means to remember the past and look with hopeful eyes toward the future, it was also an excellent excuse for guests to get piss-drunk and rowdy. </p>
<p>An explosion of flashing colored lights outside the nearest window caught his eye, reminding him of the way plasma spheres danced along the electrostatic barrier of a ship.</p>
<p>He sighed, distracted indeed.</p>
<p>“An ice sculpture on a glacier planet,” Thrass muttered beside him, picking at the plate of fruit below it half-heartedly. <em>“Groundbreaking.”</em> </p>
<p>Thrawn turned his interest back to the artpiece. “Surely you can appreciate the irony of that comment, brother.”</p>
<p>Thrass tutted, bringing his glass to his lips. “Obviously, that’s why I said it.”</p>
<p>Thrawn shot him a look. “Look closer.”</p>
<p>As if it were more inconvenient than milking your own wampa, Thrass squinted at the piece of art. “Is that — is that y-”</p>
<p>“It is you.”</p>
<p>Thrass considered the sculpture, tilting his head to the side as if trying to decide if he liked it or not now. He let out a small, pensive, “Huh.”</p>
<p>Thrawn pointed to each aspect as he spoke. “That is the Mitth Estate with the Mitth flag, that is the New Ascendancy’s emblem — notice the etching of the word ‘Rebirth’ in Chiss script, the symbolic rubble at the base of-”</p>
<p>“Yes, yes, that’s fascinating,” Thrass murmured, quickly looking up and down the Hall. “Does anyone <em>else</em> have a sculpture?”</p>
<p>Thrawn chose not to answer that or encourage his brother’s vanity. Instead he muttered, “Proud of you, Thrass.” The older brother straightened, casting his sibling a look of shock and awe. Thrawn cleared his throat. “You said earlier you wished to tell me something?”</p>
<p>“Ah, yes,” Thrass recovered. He turned to face the crowd, tipped back his beverage and said, “Eli asked me to kick you out.”</p>
<p>“Excuse me?”</p>
<p>“More or less,” Thrass digressed with a shrug. “Truthfully, I should kick you out regardless-”</p>
<p>“You wound me, brother. I did not realize my presence disturbed you so.”</p>
<p>“That’s not it and you know it.”</p>
<p>“Then what is the reasoning?”</p>
<p>“Mine? Or Eli’s?” Thrass asked, eyeing the increasingly boisterous guests. He waved to one of their family syndics as she passed, arm and arm with her wife. “Actually, they are likely the same.”</p>
<p>Thrawn remained facing the sculpture. “And they are?”</p>
<p>“You are a tool and you need to tell him the truth.” Thrass then downed his glass and puffed out his chest. “Or perhaps I will.”</p>
<p>One of Thrawn eyebrows crept toward the ceiling as he turned skeptical eyes on his sibling. “I suppose it should not surprise me to find you breaking your word, <em>Aristocra.”</em></p>
<p>Thrass deflated like a withering balloon. “Do you honestly think so little of me?” </p>
<p>“I do not know what to think.”</p>
<p>“And neither does Eli,” Thrass persisted. “How long do you think it will be until he discovers everything out on his own... like he did with the research results?”</p>
<p>“I find it hard to believe that he acquired them on his own,” Thrawn insinuated. “We all know the marriage loophole was not discovered solely by him.” </p>
<p>Thrass lifted a finger. “That was different. You asked for my help-”</p>
<p>“As I am asking for it now.”</p>
<p>Thrass opened his mouth to insist that he <em>had been</em> helping, but thought better of it. Instead, he peered around Thrawn, something catching his eye. Thrawn followed his gaze, turning around to face the crowd and found Eli, Nemma, and now Un’hee enjoying themselves on the dance floor with the rest of the party-goers. </p>
<p>Thrass cleared his throat. “Perhaps, Thrawn, you could ask your husband for a dance? Before any more unseemly gossip befells this family.”</p>
<p>“Are you wary of what other people might think regarding you and your better half?”</p>
<p>“Not at all,” Thrass quipped. “I’m worried what they’ll say about <em>you and yours.”</em></p>
<p>“Whatever would they find to gossip about, Thrass?” Thrawn wondered, although he’d noticed the curious glances in his direction. “Nothing has transpired this evening-”</p>
<p>“Precisely my point,” Thrass said, lowering his voice. <em>“Nothing</em> has transpired. The least you could do is pretend your marriage is still intact.”</p>
<p><em>“It is intact,”</em> Thrawn hissed.</p>
<p>Although Thrawn was dismally ignorant of political nuances, he knew his brother was not wrong. The problem, however, was that he and Eli had hardly spoken to each other all day. For them to do so now, in front of everyone — well, it didn’t really matter what everyone else thought, Thrawn had never put much stake in the opinion of the general public — but their internal affairs were meant for them and them alone, especially <em>unresolved</em> internal affairs. It was essential they maintain a united front if they expected to bring their worlds together; worlds that had seen enough division already. </p>
<p>He caught sight of Eli laughing with Un’hee, spinning her around the dance floor as though he hadn’t a care in the universe. Eli glimpsed Thrawn watching and flashed him a sweet grin, tying the Chiss’ stomach in a thousand unsettling knots. He swallowed hard, throat muscles tightening. </p>
<p>“Tell him, Thrawn,” Thrass urged softly beside him. </p>
<p>Thrawn looked away as the harshness of reality swooped back in to steal what little joy had bubbled up at Eli’s small smile. The music died down as the song came to an end and before Thrawn could overthink it he strode purposefully toward the dance floor, ignoring for the moment that every single eye in the Hall seemed fixed on him. </p>
<p>He wasn’t sure which hurt worse, Eli’s confusion at his sudden appearance or Un’hee having to physically place Eli’s hand in Thrawn’s outstretched one before running off. A new tune began and the chance for any preliminary conversation was lost as the duo was forced to move together or be subject to the unforgiving scrutiny of everyone present. The slow, intimate dance may have been ideal for a quiet exchange, but Thrawn didn’t even know where to start. </p>
<p>So they revolved and waltzed and avoided meeting each other’s eye in silence for the first quarter of the dance. Thrawn caught Thrass’ eye, who gave him an encouraging, if not frustrated, ‘get on with it’ look.</p>
<p>Thrawn censored his ‘don’t rush me’ face and swallowed hard. “You look nice this evening,” he muttered under his breath. </p>
<p>Eli huff out a short breath that was not quite a derisive snort. “I’ve never seen a compliment cause someone so much pain.”</p>
<p>“Not pain,” Thrawn hedged. “Unrelated discomfort.”</p>
<p>“Ah. Well, you didn’t need to seek me out,” Eli reassured him. “I do recall you don’t particularly enjoy dancing.”</p>
<p>“Not publically.”</p>
<p>“And yet here you are.”</p>
<p>They parted and another partner was passed to Thrawn, this one with all the grace of a drunken Wookie on wheels. How she was able to remain upright was a mystery to Thrawn and he was happy to give her back, soon finding Eli in his arms again. </p>
<p>“Thrass believed it advantageous.”  </p>
<p>This time Eli <em>did</em> snort. “I didn’t realize your brother dictated our every move.”</p>
<p>They stepped back and locked gazes in the next phase of the dance, circling each other.  </p>
<p>“Thrass has single-handedly kept the Mitth family together,” Thrawn said. </p>
<p>“In the aftermath of the war,” Eli agreed. The unspoken prefix ‘only’ was implied, as was the backhanded comment that Thrass’ decisions as of late did not bode well for the cohesion of their immediate family. </p>
<p>“You don’t understand.”</p>
<p>They came back together, making their way in a wide circle around the outer ring of the dance floor. Everyone else fell away when Eli lifted his eyes, staring into his with more sincerity and depth than Thrawn had seen in days, holding a quiet, subtle plea. “Then help me to.”</p>
<p>Thrawn swallowed. “It is my burden to bear, not yours.”</p>
<p>“A noble gesture,” the human conceded. “But in case you haven’t noticed I, too, am bearing the burden, Thrawn.”</p>
<p>Thrawn’s lips formed a hard, stubborn line.</p>
<p>“Not to mention that your excuse is <em>complete</em> banthashit.” Eli was stolen away again and all Thrawn could do was smile tightly at his new partner until Eli returned.</p>
<p>“When I made my vow,” Eli began when he came around again, seeming to grasp Thrawn a little tighter now. “I meant that I would stand beside you through everything.” His lip quirked up in a sad smile. “I cannot force you to confide in me, but know that I am struggling with you, even if you refuse to tell me why that is.”</p>
<p>To anyone listening or paying close enough attention, the subtle hints toward dissolvement were clear, but on the surface the couples’ temperaments appeared benign and even pleasant. They fell gracefully into the steps of the dance, mirroring each other’s movements flawlessly as if they’d done this dance their whole lives, as if their unspoken words weren't threatening to carve an ugly, jagged fissure down the middle of their marriage. </p>
<p>Thrawn chose not to give in to Eli’s prompting. Instead, when their eyes met again, he found himself unable to tear his away, locked on to his husband’s unique, handsome features as the rest of the Hall faded away. Eli would always amaze Thrawn, come hell or high water, he was at the center of everything Thrawn did; he was his confidant and compass. The ease of his brilliance, his thoughtfulness, the care he placed in everything he did, the warmth of his hand resting easily in Thrawn’s — despite the tension pulling at every one of Thrawn’s heartstrings — all served to remind him of the glorious man he’d chosen to spend the rest of his days with. </p>
<p>Swept away in his musings, Thrawn dropped his chin an inch, and almost kissed him. </p>
<p>Almost. </p>
<p>“I love you,” Eli reminded him.</p>
<p>“I know,” Thrawn replied, distracted. </p>
<p>Eli did not take offense to that, rather he used it to make his point. “Then you know there is nothing I will not support you in.” </p>
<p>“Except, apparently, this,” Thrawn retorted, glancing around at the many guests, navigators, dignitaries… his brother. </p>
<p>“Perhaps I would if I knew what <em>this</em> was.”</p>
<p>“Now is not the time to discuss it.”</p>
<p>“Do you expect me to wait another four years?”</p>
<p>“Please do not press me, Eli.”</p>
<p>Eli looked as though he was going to say something, but fell silent. Thrawn could feel his gaze, burning with hope and expectation that maybe tonight would be the night. Thrawn considered it; perhaps take him into the gardens, request that he join him on the terrace, even suggest they head home early. </p>
<p>They swapped partners one more time and Thrawn felt he could finally breathe again, out from under his husband’s obstinate stare.</p>
<p>“Lovely evening, wouldn’t you say?” his new partner asked.</p>
<p>“Not particularly.”</p>
<p>He sidestepped, reaching for Eli’s hand and stealing him away from a handsome young officer —which he didn’t at all feel sorry about— noticeably sooner than when all the others exchanged partners. </p>
<p>
  <em>“Thrawn-”</em>
</p>
<p>“Please understand my reticence is not because I desire to keep anything from you.” </p>
<p>Eli gave him a look. “That’s exactly what you’re doing, though, Thrawn. Just tell me what it is. It’s in regards to my adoptive family, I know that much.” </p>
<p>Thrawn acquiesced with a minute nod. “House Sabosen has been good to you, I will concede that.” </p>
<p>“And to you as well.”</p>
<p>“More recently.”</p>
<p>“But not in the past?”</p>
<p>“Eli, please stop-”</p>
<p>“It’s why you’re so loyal to the Mitth, isn’t it? I get it <em>now</em> — your brother is the Aristocra, but you’ve been blindly devoted to them for years out of… obligation?”</p>
<p>“I do not expect you to understand a Chiss’ devotion to their family given you were so eager to leave yours behind.” </p>
<p>Eli’s face shifted to shock in a blink of an eye and Thrawn instantly wished he hadn’t spoken his words out loud. Usually the human’s expressive features were ablaze with light and compassion, even amidst a quarrel. Now, they plummeted to a distant chill, turning fatally inaccessible in another blink of an eye. His hand dropped from Thrawn’s shoulder, backing away from him as if backing away from a stranger. Thankfully, the action drew no unwanted attention from the surrounding crowd as the song came to a close and all the other couples separated as well. </p>
<p>They stared at each other, separated by only two feet and yet lightyears apart. </p>
<p>Eli lifted his chin, his brown eyes glossed over. “Go.”</p>
<p>A lively tempo struck up from the quartet, lighthearted and fun. It felt painfully indecent for it to accompany the gravity of this moment, it’s carefree tune seeming to mock Thrawn’s efforts to remain calm and serene. The wrongness of it expanded, pressing in on Thrawn until he felt it would rob him of the ability to breathe. He wanted to fight it, to move, to say something, to destroy it with his bare hands if he had to. </p>
<p>He had been wrong. So, so wrong. He took a step in his husband’s direction, hoping that if he reached out, to heal the infinite chasm left in the wake of his careless words, there would be no need for words at all. </p>
<p>He was stopped by a strong hand against his chest. </p>
<p>“I think you should leave, Thrawn.”</p>
<p>Thrawn’s pained expression turned to ice when his red-rimmed eyes met those of his brothers. Their glow narrowed, scanning his elder sibling as if expecting to solve the riddle of his interference. </p>
<p>“I see,” he murmured.</p>
<p>Thrass only lifted his chin. If he was concerned about retaliation from Thrawn, there was nothing in his gaze that betrayed him.  </p>
<p>Thrawn’s eyes flicked behind Thrass to where his husband stood, breathing steadily with the ghost of a glower on his face, just barely hardening his soft features. His hand did not twitch as if wanting to reach out for him. His lips did not part with the desire to have the last word. He had already made his request. It was simple enough.</p>
<p>
  <em>Go.</em>
</p>
<p>He knew there was no arguing with his husband now, and pressing the matter here could cause irreparable damage. With one last glance at Thrass, standing resolutely in his way, and one last longer, apologetic look to Eli, Thrawn left. </p>
<p>Thrass turned to Eli as dancing couples began to move around them. Eli could see that they were staring, some of them overt and some inconspicuous, but all of them curious as to what had just transpired between their fellow Chiss and his human counterpart. </p>
<p>Next, he steeled himself for a confrontation with Thrass. Undoubtedly the Chiss had observed the figurative detonator and instead of waiting for it to hit its mark and explode, he’d chosen to swap alliances just before it was aimed and thrown, but Eli wasn’t fooled —he knew it was to maintain a certain perception in this very public setting. </p>
<p>“He’s wrong,” his brother-in-law told him quietly, stepping closer so no one else could hear him. “He’s wrong and he knows it.”</p>
<p>Eli hesitated, catching the eye of one particularly nosy bystander. He knew Thrass meant well, but Thrawn knowing he’d been wrong did not ease any of Eli’s heartbreak, nor did it help their situation — judging by the hushed whispers that rippled through the crowd everyone else seemed to know Thrawn had been wrong, too.</p>
<p>Thrass took a step closer to him. “Forget them, Eli.”</p>
<p>The human’s head whipped toward him, frowning. Thrass, of all people, telling him to ignore public opinion? The Chiss winked, and Eli lifted his chin with a small, proud smile, eyes clear and shoulders back. </p>
<p>“Thrass,” he said, prim and proper. The Chiss frowned. “It would be a shame to end the evening on such a note.” The human held out his hand. “Care to dance with me?”</p>
<p>Thrass eyed him strangely and Eli added. “Say no and I’ll look like a fool. You wouldn’t want that for me, would you?”</p>
<p>Thrass chuckled. “Of course not.” He took his brother-in-laws hand. “Drinks after?”</p>
<p>Eli laughed. “Gods, yes, please.” </p>
<p>Not a single minute went by for the rest of the evening in which Eli did not wonder where Thrawn had gone.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warnings: This chapter contains a couple brief moments of intimacy that, unfortunately for Eli, leads to nothing. There are also references to past battles with some pretty mild PTSD undertones. Basically it's just Thrawn having feels and being vulnerable.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eli lowered himself gingerly to the edge of the mattress so as not to disturb the person resting on the other side. Thrawn was already awake, though, laying silent and unmoving. Eli sat with his back towards him, shoulders hunched and head bowed. His body language exuded exhaustion as if sleep had done him no good. He’d left the ‘fresher light on after his shower, silhouetting his lean frame through light and shadow, a sight that would ordinarily intrigue Thrawn. The Chiss thought maybe Eli would say something after he huffed out a sigh of resignation, his shoulders rising and falling with the effort, but he didn’t. Instead, he stood and pulled the dark fabric of his trousers over the curve of his backside before buttoning them in the front. Thrawn swallowed, the sight stirring up a sense of longing that he knew was more his fault than Eli’s. They’d slept in the same bed for the first time in a week and hadn’t so much as accidentally grazed knee caps. </p>
<p>The night of the Celebration, Thrawn had returned to Thrass’ home after Eli had asked him to leave. It took him two drinks, four pep talks, and a physical push out Thrass’ door before Thrawn was making his way across Csilla’s frozen landscape toward his and Eli’s cliffside residence, all to be met with an empty house when he arrived. </p>
<p>
  <em>I figured you wouldn’t respond to any of my messages so I’m leaving this here in case you come home. I’m escorting Un’hee back to the Safehouse. I should be back this evening, not sure when.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I love you.</em>
</p>
<p>The last bit was scribbled hurriedly as if Eli had decided to include it last minute or perhaps wrote it quickly to get it over with.</p>
<p>Thrawn, after staring out the window at the glaciers floating aimlessly in the frigid waters below, began wandering just as aimlessly throughout the house until he finally plopped down on the couch, and waited.  </p>
<p>And waited. </p>
<p>He was lying curled up under the covers of their bed, facing the far wall when Eli finally returned home. The human had made no move to wake him or speak to him at all. Eventually, after quietly making his way through his nightly routine, Eli crawled into bed and was asleep within seconds. </p>
<p>Thrawn slept on and off throughout the night, waking up each time with the same person on his mind. He’d finally given up and rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling and listening to the gentle, rhythmic breathing beside him.  The night of the Celebration was the very first time Thrawn had ever danced with his husband in public, or anyone else for that matter. He recalled Eli’s pupils expanding when he looked at him, his eyes sparkling with the light from the chandeliers above. He even enjoyed the rare flash of defiance in them when they argued because at least it was something; at least they were <em>speaking.</em> </p>
<p>“Are we going to talk about it?” Eli’s soft voice broke into his thoughts. </p>
<p>Thrawn cleared his throat. He hadn’t been sure Eli knew he was even awake. “We can do that.”</p>
<p>Eli waited. Apparently Thrawn was to start. </p>
<p>“I apologize,” he tried. “The other night... I misspoke.”</p>
<p>Eli turned to face him, sealing the front of his tunic and buckling his belt as he spoke, brows drawn tightly together. “You, more than anyone, know why I came here. You <em>convinced</em> me-”</p>
<p>“I know that,” Thrawn said softly, the long ago memory of them sitting side by side in his quarters, explaining to Eli the danger he’d be in if he stayed in the Empire, the initial confusion and fear on the young man’s face, the task Thrawn had placed before him, how he had persuaded Eli to leave his home...</p>
<p>“Then I don’t need to explain why I found your words insensitive.”   </p>
<p>“No, you don’t,” Thrawn agreed solemnly. “I do not expect you to forgive me; in fact I expect nothing further from you-”</p>
<p>Eli snorted. “Except for me to simply go along with whatever you want, and forgo any of what I want?”</p>
<p>Thrawn sighed heavily, sensing the subtle shift in conversation. “I do not know why you insist on bringing this up, Eli. You know it will only lead to an argument.”   </p>
<p>“Because it <em>hurts,</em> Thrawn,” Eli admitted, heartache and desperation coloring his voice. “It hurts to know that there’s something you <em>refuse</em> to tell me. Do you understand what that feels like... for me?”</p>
<p>Thrawn sat up in bed. “You think I don’t find this difficult? To know I cannot give you something you desire?” </p>
<p>A shadow drifted over Eli’s face. “Cannot and will not are two very different things, Thrawn. Don’t you think it would be easier if you just told me what it is?” He took a meaningful step toward the bed, eyes boring into Thrawn’s with an intensity that rivaled his. “I can help you. And yet you <em>insist</em> on pushing me away.”</p>
<p>Thrawn remained silent.</p>
<p>“Well?”</p>
<p>The Chiss’ eyes lowered to the sheets. He shook his head. “I should not have come home.”</p>
<p>Eli felt the blood drain from his face. He clenched his teeth together to stop the words from bursting out — would they sound angry? Or desperate? Heartbroken? Reassuring? </p>
<p>“It appears we have reached an impasse,” Thrawn said into the darkness. “What do you suggest we do?”</p>
<p>Eli frowned, the unspoken terms put forth taking a moment to sink in. </p>
<p>He stared at him. <em>“‘Suggest we do?’</em> What the hell does that mean, Thrawn?”</p>
<p>Thrawn just stared back. </p>
<p>Eli swallowed, cold dread coursing through him, stopping his heart. “No. I have never, and won’t <em>ever</em> want that.”</p>
<p>“Then what do you suggest we do, if we cannot agree?” </p>
<p>“The same thing we’ve always done when we don’t agree, Thrawn.”</p>
<p>“There will be no compromising, Eli. Not on this.” </p>
<p>“Then we work through it,” Eli countered strongly, digging a knee into the bed as if meaning to climb back in with Thrawn. If he closed the distance, if Thrawn could feel his sincerity… “like we do everything else.”</p>
<p>Eli wasn’t sure if what he sensed from Thrawn was hesitation or dismissal. “Surely you must know how it will end, Eli. Something you want, something I am unwilling to give-”</p>
<p>“It’s not happening, Thrawn,” Eli said, stepping back and abruptly continuing to dress, occupying himself with something else as if dismissing the conversation entirely. He pulled on his boots, clasping the left and then the right. He straightened, resolute and unshakable. He spoke in the same tone of voice as he would on the bridge of a warship. “It’s not.” </p>
<p>All it took was the pursing of Thrawn lips for Eli to realize that his determination might not be enough this time. But when he turned around to leave, he missed Thrawn’s imperceivable, almost hopeful smile. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Although he did not consider himself devious, manipulative, or even a trickster, there were acts Eli deemed appropriate when in pursuit of what one wanted. Whereas Thrawn’s secrets and employment of others for his benefit was his MO, Eli’s was truth and transparency. People, the Chiss especially, flocked to that. He figured it was the reason so many of them took to him over Thrawn. </p>
<p>But Eli had to admit, even though he was the honest one, he wasn’t above harmless persuasion. (i.e. flaunting himself before his husband in order to elicit a carnal reaction.)</p>
<p>He tried everything; tried offering Thrawn back rubs, joining him in the shower, exercising with him, anything with the potential to evoke a response. Nothing.</p>
<p>He’d walked around Thrawn’s home office one day in the nude, claiming to be looking for his shoes. He’d caught Thrawn out of the corner of his eye stealing interested glances at him, but the Chiss averted his gaze every time Eli looked back. The attempt that really irked him was one night when Thrawn had returned home. Eli had laid himself out on their couch, completely nude and stroking himself, and still… <em>nothing,</em> but a “Hello, Eli” before the Chiss hopped in the shower.</p>
<p>Thrawn, apparently, had no qualms about holding the record for Csilla’s longest marital dry spell, but after weeks of inactivity, Eli had had enough. At first he’d understood Thrawn's aversion because their disagreement tainted every moment of their time together and such arguments didn’t often set fire to romance, but they couldn’t go on like this forever. </p>
<p>For this evening's attempt, Eli was cooking dinner —naked, apart from the apron he wore around his waist. He heard the chirp of the front door being activated. A minute later, Thrawn came around the corner. He placed his hand on Eli’s bare hip, kissing his cheek as he did so. </p>
<p>“Hello, Eli,” he murmured. His voice was dull; thin and worn. He filled a glass full of water and made to leave the room.</p>
<p>“That’s it?!” Eli exclaimed.</p>
<p>Thrawn swallowed his mouthful of water and faced his irate husband. Eli had one hand on the counter, the other perched atop the curve of his hip, a spatula in his fist.</p>
<p>“Have you even noticed?” Eli asked with fire in his eyes. “At any point in the last month have you even noticed that I’m <em>flaunting</em> myself? Have you noticed, Thrawn, that I’m naked… all the time?!”</p>
<p>“Of course I noticed,” Thrawn said softly. </p>
<p>“And <em>nothing?”</em> Eli asked, waving the spatula around in the air. “Not a wink? Not a sly remark? Not even ‘put some damn clothes on, Eli?’”</p>
<p>“Would me saying something aid the situation?” Thrawn asked him evenly. “What would you like me to say?”</p>
<p>Eli glared at him. “Anything, Thrawn. Literally anything, because this indifference is <em>killing</em> me.”</p>
<p>Thrawn paused, glowing eyes taking him in from top to bottom. It took Eli a conscious effort to keep his expression schooled and determined under that inquisitive stare. </p>
<p>“Very well, Eli.” </p>
<p>Thrawn inched closer, towering over him. He ducked his head and his warm, wet mouth met an exposed part of human skin, sucking lightly just over the gentle curve of Eli’s left pec. Taken by surprise and swept away, Eli’s eyes fluttered closed, drawing in a soft, breathy inhale when Thrawn <em>licked</em> where he’d been sucking. The moist heat traveled like little electric volts across his chest, hardening his nipples almost painfully and rendering him unable to suppress his short, desperate plea. In response, Thrawn tilted his head to flick one raised peak with the tip of his tongue, heat already pulsing hot and strong between Eli’s legs and he almost came right then, knees trembling, pulse thudding against Thrawn’s lips when he kissed over his heart.</p>
<p>It had been far too long.</p>
<p>Thrawn pulled back. “You had sauce on your chest.”</p>
<p>Eli’s eyes flew open. Thrawn turned to leave and Eli, in a gut reaction—with no conscious thought behind it—hurled the spatula in his hand at Thrawn’s retreating back. It hit him square between his shoulder blades, sauce splattering across the back of his shirt and onto the floor. </p>
<p>The Chiss froze and turned around, slowly.</p>
<p>It crossed Eli’s mind that he should probably apologize — and perhaps he would have, if he wasn’t so damn frustrated. </p>
<p>He knew he’d snapped— feeling so tense lately, passed over for something that had always come so naturally to them. He normally wouldn’t do something so brash, it was just—</p>
<p>Thrawn just shook his head and strode towards the ‘fresher and a shower.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The more Eli thought about it, the more he grew concerned that Thrawn would be content with the last act between them being Eli’s kitchen-utensil assault. Eli was very much not ok with that. He finished making dinner and after separating out the proper portions, put their respective containers in the fridge to save for later. </p>
<p>He told himself to breathe, that Thrawn would accept his apology. He was only human after all. After calming down and putting on some damn clothes, he waited on the couch in view of the ‘fresher door to ensure which direction Thrawn went when he stepped out.</p>
<p>Luckily, when he emerged, Thrawn caught sight of him and walked over to where he sat crossed-legged on the couch. Eli saw the exhaustion on his face. Was his exasperation with him so great?   </p>
<p> “I apologize, Eli,” Thrawn said quietly after he’d sat down. Eli’s eyebrows rose; he hadn’t expected that. “For not giving you the attention you sought these last few weeks.”</p>
<p>Now the guilt escalated. “Do you have to say it like that?” Eli asked him. “Can’t you just say sorry for ignoring me?”</p>
<p>Thrawn frowned. “I was not ignoring you. I acknowledged your presence every day. I simply did not give in to your… demonstrations.”</p>
<p>Eli opened his mouth to argue, but Thrawn held up a patient hand. “However, as your husband, I recognize that I have certain... duties. I apologize for not fulfilling them, even if your actions possessed ulterior motives.”</p>
<p>Eli sighed. The accusation was mostly true, and there was no point in dragging this out. “Thank you for apologizing. And I am sorry I flung the spatula at you.”</p>
<p>Thrawn’s lips curved upward in a wry smile. “It was a good throw.”</p>
<p>They were both quiet for a few moments.</p>
<p>“So,” Eli said, hesitantly. “Speaking of ulterior motives… you already know what I want. Will you explain your aversion to having a child with me?”</p>
<p>“I have told you,” Thrawn said, his tone patient. “I do not want any child we bring into the galaxy at present to be forced into a role they do not desire.”</p>
<p>“They will still have a choice at whatever life they want to lead, Thrawn,” Eli claimed.</p>
<p>“Will they?” Thrawn shot back bluntly. “Do you honestly believe the Aristocra will not attempt to control every move they make? Do you want our child to have their path laid before them, their choices already made? Because that is the reality, Eli.”</p>
<p>Eli bit his tongue in lieu of snapping back. After a deep breath he spoke again. “Alright, I don’t agree with you, obviously. Neither one of us knows what the Aristocra will do. But let’s just say that our child, whoever they might turn out to be, takes <em>pride</em> in serving the Ascendancy, like we do. What if they accept that role?”</p>
<p>“And if they do not,” Thrawn persisted. “You are comfortable knowing you condoned their thinly veiled imprisonment?” </p>
<p>“Every Chiss I’ve ever met has been proud to serve the Greater Good-”</p>
<p>“But our child will not be <em>only</em> Chiss,” Thrawn reminded him.</p>
<p>“So what?” Eli said indignantly. “Humans aren’t good enough to mate with Chiss?”</p>
<p>“Do not put words in my mouth,” Thrawn told him sternly.</p>
<p>“If the Aristocra — if the <em>Ascendancy</em> — is interested in our child, I have faith that it’ll be for the purpose of bringing two peoples together,” Eli said, irritation growing. “I don’t understand why you’re not backing your own people, Thrawn. How can you think so little of them?”</p>
<p>Thrawn stood then, raising his voice in a rare demonstration of controlled rage. “We cannot trust <em>all</em> Chiss, Eli. Or have you forgotten what my people have endured over the last three years? Have you forgotten the amount of Chiss blood that was shed on the decks of <em>all those ships;</em> on Chiss ships, on Grysk ships, on <em>my</em> ship, Eli. Do you remember how many Chiss perished, and how many more turned their backs on us?”</p>
<p>The quiet pressed in on them; the silence ringing in Eli’s ears without Thrawn’s booming voice to fill the space.</p>
<p>“I was there, Thrawn,” he answered softly. “I remember.”</p>
<p>“And you wonder why I have doubts,” Thrawn continued, reaching a point of frustrated emotion that Eli never recalled seeing before. “You wonder why I would fear for a child like ours. It is the same fear I have for <em>all</em> my people, for all the little girls who are stolen from Chiss space to be <em>used</em> for a gift they did not ask for, for men like me who were lucky not to be exploited by people like the Grysk. What the galaxy does to beings who are different, Eli…” he took a ragged breath. “I could not save my people. I lack the confidence to believe I could protect our child.” </p>
<p>Eli stared, unable to look away from the heartbreak that was now so blatantly obvious; so distinctively palpable that he sat dumbfounded as to how the hell he’d missed it. He blinked, two unexpected tears rolling hot down his cheeks. The thick lump in his throat did not subside no matter how many times he tried swallowing it down. His nose burned and moisture gathered in the corner of his eyes. Taking a moment to collect himself, he gazed out the large window into the darkness; barely noticing when Thrawn sat back down.</p>
<p>Eli was supposed to know Thrawn better than anyone. He knew that he had suffered; knew that he had lost, but he hadn’t known this. Had he failed him?</p>
<p>Thrawn’s people were what drove him; from the first day Eli knew him, he knew that. Thrawn’s only goal had been to protect his people, but instead he had been forced to watch as they turned on each other with the aid of their enemy. Thrawn himself had given orders to kill his own people, his brother and sisters, had condoned the sacrifice of a <em>sky-walker.</em> </p>
<p>And now Eli was pressing for him to once again put his heart on the line with no guarantee that it wouldn’t turn out horribly, with no guarantee that the hardest part of their life together hadn’t already passed.</p>
<p>But it had; Eli had to believe that it had.</p>
<p>He scooted closer to Thrawn’s side and draped an arm across his back, wiping another tear from his own face as he did so. </p>
<p>“I know what you lost, Thrawn. I also know that you didn’t lose everything, not by a long shot. You are a <em>hero</em> to every living Chiss, and I know Ajal, Sorin...” he swallowed, willing his voice to remain steady, “... Ar’alani, and everyone else we lost would agree with me. You <em>did</em> save your people, Thrawn. The Grysks won’t divide your worlds ever again. Your people know that and they are coming together in <em>your name.</em> Be proud of that. I know I am.”</p>
<p>He took Thrawn’s hand and firmly pressed his lips to his knuckles.</p>
<p>“You defended the nation; you are the reason it still stands,” Eli told him, honest and proud. “I doubt that our child’s safety and protection would ever be in jeopardy with you as their father.” </p>
<p>Thrawn just sat motionless; stoic and silent. Guiding Thrawn’s head to his lips, Eli kissed where silver-black hair met cobalt skin and Thrawn relaxed in his arms, melted down to a tempered vessel of restorative catharsis. He draped an arm across Eli’s stomach, pressed his body to the other’s steady warmth and allowed his head to fall heavily against Eli’s chest—rendered defenseless in the human’s embrace. </p>
<p>Eli didn’t know how long they stayed like that, collapsed against the back of the couch with Eli idly carding his fingers through Thrawn’s hair. He wasn’t even sure Thrawn was still awake until he heard his low, gentle rumble when he muttered, “Thank you, Eli.”</p>
<p>For the first time in a long time, Eli dared to hope that the misunderstandings were behind them.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warnings for what's to come: implied statutory rape with dubious consent, and childhood trauma (that the Mitth family are absolute dolls for helping to remedy)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The whistling of air through their vehicle was all that could be heard as they made their way across the frozen tundra back home. After weeks of Eli’s incessant chatter regarding Thrawn’s atypical biology, his delving into more and more research, and general curiosity about the subject, (not to mention his continued attempts at seducing his bond-mate) Thrawn had decided that perhaps it would be wise to consult a doctor for more legitimate information — just to talk — lest Eli believe himself qualified to act as one. </p>
<p>The knowledge that Thrawn had roughly two years to conceive only added to the tension the couple constantly felt. Fortunately, there was good news. As the research had already shown, they <em>were</em> compatible, and Eli had already been prescribed the necessary supplement that would ensure success. He gripped the paperwork tighter in his lap. He hadn’t expected to get a full reading of Thrawn’s peak fertility periods, but they’d left with the proper charts and plenty of FAQs and informational pamphlets. Not that it was a huge surprise, but the doctors weren’t exactly against them conceiving. </p>
<p>Thrawn, unfortunately, still was.</p>
<p>When they arrived at their home, Thrass and Nemma were waiting for them inside. The bonded pair remained in their transport, staring at their guest’s shuttle in silence for a moment.  </p>
<p>“Would you like me to notify them that tonight is not ideal?” came Thrawn’s sonorous murmur.</p>
<p>“No,” Eli said, unlatching his door. “It’s not <em>their</em> fault.”</p>
<p>And with that Eli walked briskly inside with Thrawn trudging a few paces behind him. The four greeted each other politely — everyone knew where the couple had just returned from and yet no one wanted to be the first to mention it. Eli caught Thrass’ eye, flicking eagerly back and forth from Eli to Thrawn, obviously curious and trying hard not to pry. To his credit, he respectfully requested to speak with Thrawn alone for a moment before the evening meal. Thrass and Thrawn remained in the parlor while Eli led Nemma down the narrow, winding staircase and into Thrawn’s gallery—until Eli deemed the artwork irritating and they migrated to the solarium, where Eli often found himself when he was feeling particularly cold and missing Lysatra.    </p>
<p>“So,” Nemma began cautiously. “It <em>is</em> possible, then?”</p>
<p>Eli let out a short snort. “Yeah, but Thrawn is…” he waved a hand indifferently through the air. “Not interested.”</p>
<p>Nemma hesitated from her spot on the day bed, chewing nervously on the inside of her cheek and eyeing him as he paced up and down the small, glass room. “And… how are the two of you?”</p>
<p>“Fine,” Eli tried to say with conviction, however unconvincing. Truthfully, not much had changed over the last couple weeks. Thrawn had apologized for ‘depriving’ Eli and after that Eli thought maybe things would be better. They were, kinda. If you count a blow job every now and then just to take the edge off. Things <em>were</em> fine, but they certainly weren’t great.</p>
<p>Nemma’s voice grew softer as did her worried expression. “Are you sure about that?”</p>
<p>The human stopped his pacing. “Please don’t do that.” </p>
<p>“Eli, I just think...” Nemma ventured as he started pacing again. “At some point you might need to... reevaluate. I don’t want to say you have to give up, but you’ve been trying to convince him to no avail for-”</p>
<p>“Nemma.”</p>
<p>“I’m just saying-”</p>
<p>“I know.”</p>
<p>He plopped down beside her on the day bed, the heat from the cushions warming him instantly. She met his gaze, held it. “I know this is something you want, and let’s be honest it’s not like you’re known to back down.” He smiled at that. “But neither is Thrawn. Be careful, Eli. I’d hate to see this tear you two apart. You can still lead a perfectly happy life together, just the two of you-”</p>
<p>She fell silent when she caught how quickly his expression turned to stone, his gaze shifting outward to focus on the setting sun over the farthest mountain peak. She <em>felt</em> his withdrawal. </p>
<p>“Ok,” Nemma muttered, catching the wordless hint. “I’ll stop.” She pushed herself up and off the plush cushions and stood. “It’s about time for supper. Are you hungry?”</p>
<p>He didn’t answer right away. He just sat staring out at the horizon. “Thank you, Nemma,” he finally murmured. “I know you mean well, and that you’re only looking out for us, it's just… I’m not ready to stop trying yet.” </p>
<p>Her kind smile told him that even if she didn’t fully agree with him, she understood. </p>
<p>Eli rose to follow her from the room, allowing himself to be mindlessly led back through the halls and the gallery toward the brothers.</p>
<p>He froze halfway through the art room.  </p>
<p>
  <em>“Holy kriff...”</em>
</p>
<p>“Pardon?”</p>
<p>Eli revolved on the spot, taking in all the ancient artifacts, antique sculptures and modern paintings Thrawn had acquired over the years. The human let out a short bark and spun back around to face Nemma. He gestured, making sure to speak in Cheunh this time. “Art.” </p>
<p>The Chiss woman cocked her head to the side, staring at her friend as though worried he’d officially gone off the deep end. </p>
<p>Eli huffed out another laugh, turning back to the priceless art collection and muttering under his breath. “Of course.” </p>
<p>Battle plans. Motives. History. Patterns. Victories.</p>
<p>Eli had seen Thrawn pull all those and more from an individual’s artwork, predicting how they themselves would behave, or even the patterns of their entire culture. He’d paid attention because it was interesting and more often than not, astounding, but mostly he’d paid attention because it was Thrawn. The Chiss could deduce coordinates from a particular brush stroke; Eli had seen him do it.</p>
<p>He took a deep breath. </p>
<p>He just hoped he’d learned enough to do it himself. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eli couldn’t ask Thrass; he was currently being guilt-tripped into supporting Thrawn. Plus Eli couldn’t risk him giving Thrawn a heads up or ratting him out. He also refused to ask Nemma; the potential for driving a wedge between her and Thrass was just too great if Thrass ever discovered she was involved.</p>
<p>So he asked Heron, someone who was considered just enough of a third-party outsider, and who was also conveniently sworn to secrecy. Eli didn’t tell him what they were transporting, just that he needed help doing so. After weeks of deliberation, Eli decided to present them to Thrawn at his brother’s place. That way, if Thrawn decided he needed “time” or refused to speak with Eli for any amount of that time, he was already at Thrass’ and Eli could return home without disturbing him. </p>
<p>It didn’t take Eli long to track him down. He was in Thrass’... well, what Eli equated to a small <em>museum,</em> strolling lazily between the displays and along the perimeter, admiring the oversized paintings that hung on the wall. Eli watched him for a time as he leaned casually against the frame of the open doors, wondering if Thrawn knew he was standing there, or if he was so immersed in his study that another presence would not disrupt him.   </p>
<p>As much as Eli loved to just look at Thrawn, that was not why he was here. “Hey, handsome.”</p>
<p>Thrawn jumped slightly and turned. “Ah, Eli,” he said lightly. “I’m glad you are here.”</p>
<p>“Oh?” Eli asked as he strode inside, passing an esoteric looking helmet encased in a glass box atop a display. “And why is that?”</p>
<p>Thrawn must have sensed something that Eli had been trying to disguise because the Chiss’ eyes narrowed slightly when they met in the center of the room. “You are anxious.”</p>
<p>“Oh, um… I have something for you,” Eli said in a subdued tone. “It may be a little drastic, but I wasn’t sure what else to do, or how else to proceed. I don’t foresee our situation being resolved, or getting any easier for us, so I -”</p>
<p>Thrawn’s eyebrows dipped low in concern. Eli appeared resigned, as if not particularly wanting to have this discussion, but also apprehensive of how it might go over. He did not appear regretful, but he did seem resolute in his determination, like he’d done his research and this was the best course of action, or rather… the <em>only</em> course of action. </p>
<p>“I made a decision,” Eli said, swallowing. “You may think it’s stupid, and we don’t have to agree on everything, but it… it’ll be easier if we do.”</p>
<p>“Eli, what are you-” </p>
<p>“One of us needed to do something. We can’t just remain at a standstill.” He opened his mouth again, closed it, and held up a finger asking Thrawn to wait. Then he turned to leave the room.</p>
<p>“You deserve an explanation,” Thrawn said plainly to Eli’s back. The human froze, but didn't turn around. “A real one.”</p>
<p>Eli stood, rendered motionless at the hint of desperation in Thrawn’s voice. Thrawn <em>had</em> given Eli an explanation, one that had inevitably helped Eli to understand his reasonings a bit more, but Eli knew it wasn’t <em>the</em> explanation. </p>
<p>“I found myself unable to provide it before.”</p>
<p>Over the years, Eli had given everything to Thrawn; his career, his life, his love — and yet Thrawn had still refused to share the parts of himself that lay the deepest. Eli waited, wondering if today was the day he’d finally learn the truth; the <em>full</em> truth.</p>
<p>“I apologize for that.”</p>
<p>Noises could be heard from down the hall, growing louder. Voices. Then a door closing. And then silence. Eli wished they could have this conversation in a more private setting so they wouldn’t be interrupted, but with all the legal documentation of Eli’s “priceless goods,” it was safer to keep them at the home of an Aristocra.</p>
<p>“Eli, please...”</p>
<p>Before he could turn around—because he’d already made up his mind to stay and listen to what Thrawn had to say the moment his husband had opened his mouth—Thrawn’s swift footsteps passed him on his left. He reached for both doors and shut the two of them inside.</p>
<p>“If you have a moment, and if it does not interfere with your…” Thrawn hesitated. “...plans. I would very much appreciate the chance to explain.”</p>
<p>Eli watched as the barrier—the fortress that Thrawn had built up around him—crumbled to the ground. </p>
<p>Eli smiled, relieved. “That’s all I ever wanted.”</p>
<p>“I know,” Thrawn said, gesturing toward the small sitting area, before a painting of what Eli recognized as the Mitth Estate on Copero. He followed Eli there and they both sat themselves comfortably on the sofa. “I feel I must reiterate that you played no part in me not telling you sooner.”</p>
<p>Eli nodded his understanding. Their eyes met, and for what felt like several long minutes they just stared at each other. Perhaps it was the way the corners of Thrawn’s eyes softened, or how the tension seemed to dissolve from his body, but Eli knew to wait out the silence. Thrawn would tell him this time, in his own way.  </p>
<p>The Chiss took a deep breath before beginning. “I have already expressed my own personal opinion regarding bringing new life into this galaxy.”</p>
<p>“As I have expressed mine.”</p>
<p>Thrawn gave a single nod. “You have. Those concerns are not my only reservations.”</p>
<p>“The Fourth Family-” Eli prompted, knowingly. </p>
<p>Thrawn inclined his head. “Was responsible for the health care initiative and research when I was younger,” he explained. “They had the best medcenters in the galaxy and were tasked with finding a genetic link, causality, benefits other than the obvious, to those with my... unique capabilities.”</p>
<p>“You told me people like you were treated like kings,” Eli recalled.</p>
<p>Thrawn nodded. “Indeed. Centuries ago, when we were all but extinct. They were viewed as deities; thought to bring salvation to our people, to save our species, and they were compensated as such.”</p>
<p>“Sounds lavish.”</p>
<p>“Does it?” Thrawn asked, eyeing him. He paused for a moment of thought before continuing. “Maturity occurs sooner in Chiss than humans. Ten to twelve years-”</p>
<p>“Ten?!”</p>
<p>Thrawn looked at him.</p>
<p>Eli couldn’t imagine being considered ‘mature’ at age ten.</p>
<p>“For their purposes, yes,” Thrawn murmured. “I was ten when they discovered me. Thrass and I were sent to live on Sposia until I was fourteen, when the program was disbanded and we were adopted into the Mitth.”</p>
<p>Eli cleared his throat. “What um… purposes were those?”</p>
<p>Thrawn lowered his gaze. “A group of us were put through a multitude of testing. All kinds, at first, but our distinguishing trait—why we were there—was their greatest interest.”</p>
<p>“How you are able to conceive?” </p>
<p>“Partially,” Thrawn said with a tilt of his head. “During that time it was still somewhat of a scientific enigma. Today, it is not so much of a mystery, nor is it as startling to see.”</p>
<p>“I met a man who carried, once,” Eli said, remembering. </p>
<p>Thrawn shot him a curious look. “Did you?”</p>
<p>Eli nodded. “It’s what led me to find out we were compatible.”</p>
<p>Thrawn hummed, eyes scanning the painting before them. Eli’s eyes were fixed on Thrawn. He waited a moment, expecting Thrawn to continue. When he didn’t, Eli asked the question he really wanted an answer for. “What were they testing?”</p>
<p>Thrawn straightening with another sigh. “I believe they hoped to discover a way to produce more of us.”</p>
<p><em>“Is</em> there a way?”</p>
<p>“Not that I know of.”</p>
<p>Cautiously, Eli pressed the conversation, swept away by mere curiosity now. “What else did they test? Did they do blood work?”</p>
<p>Thrawn nodded. “Blood work, hormone treatment, arousal levels, the list is long.”</p>
<p>Eli retreated. “They didn’t have you… with each other…”</p>
<p>Thrawn blinked, avoiding Eli’s increasingly worried expression. “Each case was different. I was... ‘special.’”</p>
<p>Eli didn’t like the sound of that. A frown darkened his warm eyes, his stomach churning. “Special how?”</p>
<p>Thrawn breathed in. “There were tests to detect… preference. They thought there might be a link between attraction to one's partner and conception, and as female Chiss are not capable of insemination...” </p>
<p>Eli bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from asking how exactly they tested <em>preference.</em> He wasn’t sure he even wanted to know, but Thrawn told him anyway.</p>
<p>As his husband explained what he’d gone through, Eli ignored the pain of his nails digging into the flesh of his palm, ignored how his jaw started to ache from clenching his teeth together so tightly. He tried focusing on steadying his breathing without cringing as Thrawn told his story. He wanted to be present in this; here for Thrawn, but — </p>
<p>“Eli, are you alright?”</p>
<p>It was then that Eli realized his eyes were wet. “Yeah,” he choked out. “I just…” he looked away and breathed out, ragged and uneven. “Thrawn, I’m… <em>so</em> sorry.” </p>
<p>What else could he possibly say that would begin to convey his fury, disgust, and pain at hearing what his mate had endured. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”</p>
<p>Thrawn covered his fist with his own hand. “I am alright, Eli. It wasn’t painful. At the time it felt natural.” He looked away again, seeming to lose himself in the pleasant, painted countryside of the Mitth Estate, but Eli knew—judging by the way his eyes glazed over—it wasn’t what he was truly seeing. “They paired me with somebody I thought I loved. So… it wasn’t so bad.”</p>
<p>“You’re just telling me that so I don’t try to destroy something in here in a fit of rage,” Eli said, looking around at all the priceless pieces.</p>
<p>A smile pulled at the corner of Thrawn’s lips. “You are not often rage driven, Eli. I am not worried about that.”</p>
<p>“You say this to the man who recently threw a spatula at you,” Eli said, almost smiling. “And who has also been known to hurl sticks at people after waking up on an unfamiliar planet.”</p>
<p>Thrawn frowned until realization dawned on him. “Ah, yes. And paper weights, according to my brother.”</p>
<p>Eli’s eyes shot wide open. “Thrass told you about that?! That little…” </p>
<p>Thrawn shot him an affectionate grin while the human rattled off a number of expletives. “I rather enjoyed the tale.”</p>
<p>Eli was shaking his head. <em>“Shit,</em> that was <em>years</em> ago. Is there anything else I should know?”</p>
<p>“No, there are no more secrets,” Thrawn confessed, the light-hearted mood fading once again to solemn reverie. “This was the last one.”</p>
<p>Eli’s eyes searched his, his own smile dissolving as the conversation looped back around. “I just… how could they do that?”</p>
<p>Thrawn squeezed Eli’s hand. “Sometimes there are dark secrets behind new discoveries or breakthroughs… everything comes with a price.”</p>
<p>Eli gave him a small, watery smile. He supposed that Thrawn, with his track record, could easily and graciously accept the atrocities made by others, even if he was the one who had suffered because of them. Thrawn, more than anyone, might understand. But was that right, or fair to him?</p>
<p>It was that spirling, ethical conundrum that sent Eli’s mind careening. Was Thrawn’s understanding naive in its origin, was it gracious, or distorted? That open acceptance of wrong-doings made Eli wonder at what point did one's past stop having an influence on one's view of the world —if it ever did —and at what point that influence became an excuse. How many of Thrawn’s childhood experiences shaped the man he’d been, the man he was today?</p>
<p>Ethics through Thrawn’s eyes had always been a bit blurry, Eli had gathered that early on. No wonder his moral compass was a little skewed. But Eli would help him; so long as he was near, he would always help him.</p>
<p>Eli shook his head again. “You were <em>ten?”</em></p>
<p>“Thirteen,” Thrawn corrected with a small smile as he wiped another of Eli’s unexpected tears away with the back of his finger. “They wanted me old enough to form an attachment far enough out of childhood.”</p>
<p>Eli couldn’t help his derisive snort and his sardonic, “How considerate,” to which Thrawn just chuckled.</p>
<p>“I get it now,” Eli told him, nodding. “I'd hate them too, if I was you.”</p>
<p>“The program was shut down,” Thrawn said, as if that made it better. “Thrass told me they faced justice and after we were adopted the Mitth provided me with the resources I needed. I haven't felt inclined to go searching for what happened afterward.”  </p>
<p>“I don’t blame you.” Taking his hand, Eli kissed the back of it. “Have I ever told you how much you amaze me?”</p>
<p>Thrawn just grinned. His gaze dropped from Eli’s, turning questioning; hesitant. Eli found his own heart rate increasing, anxious for what Thrawn had to say next. Red eyes flicked to his. “You had something for me?”</p>
<p>“Oh!” Eli said, relieved. “Yeah, um… wait here.”</p>
<p>He stood to leave, then stopped and turned abruptly back around. “Actually… at the Celebration, you said I didn’t understand family-”</p>
<p>Thrawn stood as well. “I was wrong to say that,” he started to say, “I knew it the moment-”</p>
<p>“I know,” Eli said with a kind smile. “You <em>were</em> wrong. I left a lot of things back in the Empire, but not my chosen family. I chose <em>you,</em> Thrawn, to whom I am unconditionally loyal.”</p>
<p>Thrawn nodded, believing that Eli had never spoken truer words. </p>
<p>“And now that I know how much this means to you… well, it doesn’t make me want a family any less, but it does help me understand you better,” Eli paused.</p>
<p>Thrawn smiled and opened his mouth to reply.</p>
<p>“However-”</p>
<p>Thrawn froze.</p>
<p>“You know this means a lot to me, too. So you can’t blame me for continuing to try. Hold on,” he left Thrawn’s side, disappearing quickly through the gallery’s doors. He returned moments later, using his foot to awkwardly keep the doors open as he carried two wrapped rectangles inside. They were large, almost too large for him to carry both at one time. Placing them gingerly on the floor, he propped them up against the sofa, carefully positioning them side by side. He turned to Thrawn and took his hand. “Your honesty was your final attempt to help me understand. I appreciate that, Thrawn, more than you know. But this,” he gestured vaguely toward the two shapes. “I would like to submit my own last attempt, for your consideration.” </p>
<p>Thrawn’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “It is art.”</p>
<p>Eli chuckled. “Of course it’s art. A Chiss painting, and a Lysatran piece from back home.”</p>
<p>Thrawn’s uncertainty seemed to disappear at that. Art, he could do. Art, he was confident in. That was good, Eli thought. But he still couldn’t shake Thrawn’s almost nervous demeanor from earlier. </p>
<p>“Thrawn,” he wondered. “Why now? Why did you decide to tell me the truth now?”</p>
<p>Thrawn just blinked at him. “You said you had something for me. I was unsure what it might be and I was not willing to risk losing you.”</p>
<p>“Losing…?” Eli frowned. “I had <em>paintings</em> for you, Thrawn. What… what did you think it was?”</p>
<p>Thrawn averted his eyes and Eli’s heart broke when he finally understood what Thrawn had feared.</p>
<p>Eli squeezed his hand and said strongly. “I told you I wouldn’t leave.”</p>
<p>Although Thrawn’s shoulders visibly relaxed, he still appeared confused and slightly apprehensive. Eli didn’t blame him. Surely he was chomping at the bit to tear open the paintings’s wrappings and discover what lay beneath. </p>
<p>“I um… I hope…” Eli couldn’t find the words. He gestured again to the art. “Well, I’ll just let you do your thing.”</p>
<p>Thrawn’s eyebrows twitched curiously at that. </p>
<p>“I’m taking midday meal with Nemma," Eli told him. "It’ll give you some time to … examine these.</p>
<p>“I love you, Thrawn,” he added deliberately, making sure they made eye contact.</p>
<p>Thrawn looked even more confused now. “I love you, Eli.”</p>
<p>Eli stretched up, having to raise onto his toes to reach Thrawn’s cheek and press his lips to it. “I’ll talk to you later, then.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Parts of this chapter are pretty vague and I went back and forth with how much I wanted to include. The more detailed aspects I left out as they are not incredibly important to Thrawn and Eli’s end relationship. However, if you’d like to know more about what actually happened to Thrawn feel free to ask when I open comments, but you'll probably make your own inferences as to what occurred.</p>
<p>Thanks for reading! Next is Thrawn's response to Eli's art interpretation challenge, <s>and probably some smut.</s></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning: NSFW material ahead.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“He says Thrawn won’t let him in the room,” Nemma told Eli from across the table, her eyes focused on her questis.</p><p>Thrass had been unintentionally keeping Nemma — and subsequently Eli — updated on Thrawn’s status as the elder brother still had no idea what was going on. All he knew was that Thrawn was being particularly… Thrawn-like, locked away in his own gallery. </p><p>“He’s also refusing to have food brought to him,” Nemma told him. “Oh wait, he says Thrawn is <em>requesting</em> his entry. Says he wants his... opinion.”</p><p>“His opinion?” Eli all but shouted. “Since when does Thrawn ask for Thrass’ <em>opinion?”</em></p><p>Nemma lifted a shoulder inconclusively, shaking her head. “Maybe he’s conflicted. That could be a good thing, I suppose.”</p><p>Eli sighed loudly.</p><p>“It’ll be fine, Eli,” Nemma said in a voice that reminded Eli of a mother soothing a child.</p><p>Eli’s own device beeped. It was Thrawn. “Return, please,” he read and promptly cursed out loud, swallowing hard and ducking his head when the other patrons looked his way. He picked up his utensil just to let it drop back to his plate with a clank. ”It’s just as well, if my anxiety gets any worse I’ll start ordering shots and <em>that</em> won’t end well. We should leave.”</p><p>The entire trip back to Thrass’, Eli was either talking profusely about how he felt so nervous he might hurl, or he was so silent that Nemma was worried he’d simply stopped breathing.</p><p>They pulled up in front of Thrass’ home and Eli followed Nemma cautiously inside, only for them to both be stopped abruptly by an irate Thrass. </p><p>“Nemma, we need to talk. And Eli, well, good luck,” Thrass waved him toward the gallery. “Apparently you and Thrawn have ‘things to discuss.’” </p><p>“It’ll be fine,” Nemma reminded him kindly when he shot her a worried look.</p><p>Eli glanced back over his shoulder when Thrass muttered “Fuckin’ nerds” under his breath, but he and Nemma were already on their way out. He continued down the hall, swiveling his head to the right and left as if expecting Thrawn to jump from one of the rooms at any moment. Was he walking into an argument, an ambush? He didn’t dare get his hopes up. </p><p>He peeked around the gallery doors, reacting quickly to catch the small object that had come flying toward his face. </p><p>“What the-” he glimpsed the bottle in his hands. It was the medication he was supposed to take if they ever decided to try.</p><p>Thrawn was standing in the center of the room, all regal seduction and captivating charm, a devilish grin spreading across his lips. “Let’s do this.”</p><p>A wave of joyous relief crashed over Eli. “Wait… seriously?”</p><p>Thrawn nodded, that little smile extending to his eyes; glittering with confidence. </p><p>Eli nearly tackled him in his attempt to gather as much of him as he could in his arms. He pulled away, laughing. “Are you sure?”</p><p>Thrawn was smiling. “Absolutely.” </p><p>Eli crushed their mouths together in his excitement, and realized that it had been quite some time since he’d really <em>kissed</em> Thrawn. He’d missed it. It was a while before they separated and Eli had a chance to glance again at the bottle in his hand. “This won’t work right away, though.”</p><p>Thrawn took the container and underlined with his nail, ‘within 60 minutes’ for Eli to see. He then twisted the cap off and popped a yellow pill into Eli’s mouth.</p><p>“What about <em>your</em> medication?” Eli wondered aloud. “Is it still in effect?”</p><p>Thrawn’s smile faded a little and Eli couldn’t help but feel a tad crestfallen. He opened his mouth to tell Thrawn that it was alright, that they could try another night… </p><p>“I have not taken it.”</p><p>Eli retreated. “Wait… what? Since when?”</p><p>“Since the night you threw the spatula at me.” </p><p>Eli searched his eyes, both confused and elated. <em>That</em> incident had occured weeks ago.</p><p>“You were… you were waiting for me to convince you.” It wasn’t said as a question. </p><p>The small smile that graced Thrawn’s lips made his eyes twinkle. “Perhaps,” he said, feigning uncertainty.</p><p>“So what now,” Eli wondered, laughing at Thrawn’s attempt at innocence. “We just hang out for an hour?”</p><p>Thrawn took his hand and steered him toward the exit, leaving the paintings behind. “Well, we are going home first. If we have time after that, I am certain we’ll use it wisely.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After nearly two decades of what started out as a clandestine affair, then a secret, long-distance relationship, followed by a very well-known union, Eli and Thrawn had fallen into an easy, effortless rhythm — both public and private, one that was just as familiar as it was exhilarating. </p><p>Each of them assumed the role that was most suited to their personality. Eli was softer and supportive, whereas Thrawn was inherently more assertive. When it came to lovemaking — much like in everything else he did — Thrawn knew what he wanted and he knew exactly how to get it. Eli had always been more accommodating and considerate. Not because he’d been a subordinate in the Empire and then an alien in CDF, but because that was just his way. So for a long while that’s how it was between them, their intimate comradery becoming second nature. </p><p>Eli was used to letting him lead, so he didn’t protest when Thrawn landed them on their bed with a muffled grunt into his mouth. He kissed him like he had something to prove, direct and purposeful, leaving Eli feeling oddly weightless— like he’d easily float away if Thrawn wasn’t laying on top of him. It had felt like a marathon sprint to get to this point, but now that they were here, he didn’t feel rushed at all.  </p><p>He knew eventually the tables would have to turn and he would most likely find himself leading Thrawn at some point, but they had time; at least another twenty minutes. So he let Thrawn strip him of everything but his briefs and toss his clothes to the side. He let him grind lazily against his thigh while he kissed him, licking inside his mouth as if he’d forgotten what Eli tasted like and wanted to rediscover each and every flavor. </p><p>Eli had nearly forgotten these things as well. It had been an uncertain and rough couple months for them. And of course now Eli realized that what they’d probably needed all along was just each other.</p><p>A shiver ran through his body when Thrawn whispered his name; a reaction he remembered well. “I love you,” Thrawn said, punctuating each word of praise with a kiss, lips brushing over Eli’s cheeks, nose, and forehead with all the delicacy of a flower petal. “I love all of you; with everything I am and everything I will ever be-”</p><p>Eli took his face in his hands with a crooked smile. “Hey, why all the sudden candor? Not that I mind-” </p><p>“You need to understand before we continue.”</p><p>“Alright, but-”</p><p><em>“Do you</em> understand?”</p><p>Eli paused, staring. “Yes, I understand, Thrawn. Why-”</p><p>“I do not tell you enough.”</p><p>Eli blinked, and noticed the reactionary tightening of Thrawn’s throat muscles. It wasn’t that he didn’t tell him enough. Well, perhaps that part was true, but that wasn’t all of it. He searched Thrawn’s expectant gaze, as if he was waiting for Eli to read between the lines and decipher why it was essential that he know the depth of his devotion. The realization hit Eli like a thermal detonator. The last time this had happened for Thrawn, it hadn’t been love. Not really. </p><p>“I understand,” Eli told him softly. “I understand, and I love you just the same. More, probably, if you wanna bet on it.”</p><p>Thrawn’s mouth curved up into a half smirk. “That is one bet you are certain to lose.”</p><p>The human’s chuckle dissolved into a little gasping moan when Thrawn ducked his head to suck lightly just below his ear. Eli’s head fell back to expose more of his neck as tempered heat pulsed steadily lower, Thrawn’s mouth growing hotter and more demanding, leaving behind a trail of faint bruises down his throat and across his collarbone. Thrawn bared his teeth, running his sharper canines up and over Eli’s jaw. He always did things with a touch of carefully calculated enthusiasm that oftentimes bordered on primitive, tameless desire.</p><p>Their lips met again and Eli felt the anticipation steadily growing, tingling at the tips of his fingers like little volts of electricity when he ran them down Thrawn’s torso. He knew this would be different than all the other times, but the easy intimacy they’d shared for years reminded Eli that they still knew each other better than anyone else, in a lot of ways.  </p><p>For Eli, it was important Thrawn be the one to express his readiness. Eli felt he’d pressed him enough to get this far and he wanted Thrawn’s complete consent for the rest of it. He was patient; he would wait for a word, or a look, or a gesture. What he got was much better. Purposefully, and with as much intent as he could communicate without speaking, Thrawn rolled them over, deliberately settling Eli in the center with Thrawn’s legs on either side of his knees. Thrawn was taller than him, so when Eli braced himself above and leaned down to kiss him, he didn’t have the length of his body to keep from grinding fortuitously into Thrawn’s groin. He rolled his hips again, just to hear the deep, gratified groan it elicited, feeling how stiff his husband had grown beneath the barrier of his trousers. </p><p>Thirty seconds later, Eli was helping him slip out of his briefs, noting the glistening wet streaks across the fabric and choosing not to comment on them. There was no need to mention how long it had been— they were both fully aware of how much time had passed— and commenting on an involuntary response of Thrawn’s biology would really just be tactless at this point. Eli knew how his body reacted to stimuli, and as much as it made his mouth water, it did not need to be announced when Thrawn was aroused. Eli himself was in no better condition, after all. </p><p>This time would be different, that went without saying. But it was still Thrawn, and he was still Eli, and pleasuring each other had never felt awkward or uncomfortable before. Eli refused to make it so now. So instead of speaking at all, he kissed Thrawn one more time before crawling the length of his body, trailing a line of warm, wet kisses down his chest and abdomen and the sharp inset of his hips until he was laid out on his stomach between Thrawn’s legs. With a glance up at the red glow Eli found strangely comforting in the near darkness, he licked along one of the many elevated secretion tracts that ran the length of Thrawn’s shaft.</p><p>“That,” Thrawn moaned, biting his bottom lip. “Will not help our situation.”</p><p>Eli smirked. “You’re not the one who has to wait.”</p><p>He ran his tongue along another tract, gathering the excess fluid it produced on his tongue before swallowing it down.</p><p>“You wish to conduct multiple experiments this evening?” Thrawn asked, looking down at him with glowing eyes.</p><p>Eli cocked his head to the side. “I don’t see the harm in it. I can’t remember the last time you finished more than once.”</p><p>“I cannot remember the last time I finished at all.”</p><p>“And who’s fault is that?” Eli quipped, nipping playfully at Thrawn’s inner thigh. He propped himself up. “Perhaps you can remind me of some things, while we wait.”</p><p>Thrawn frowned.</p><p>“About your kind,” Eli prompted gently.</p><p>“What would you like to know?”</p><p>“How were they discovered?” Eli asked, kissing over the sensitive spot of Thrawn’s thigh where he’d just bitten. </p><p>“How all variations of beings are discovered: genetic mutation.”</p><p>“Ah,” Eli said, wrapping his fingers around Thrawn and feeling him twitch to life in his palm. “And do the tracts have a specific purpose?” </p><p>“Convenience, I suppose.” Thrawn answered, his breath catching when Eli’s hand began a slow, measured pull. “And probability of success.”</p><p>Eli’s hand flexed around all <em>five</em> glazed ridges, feeling how they glided smoothly under his palm with each languid stroke.</p><p>“All Chiss men have them,” Thrawn added, his voice sounding a little stiffer. </p><p>Eli enjoyed hearing Thrawn’s arousal build, relished watching each subtle shift toward his unraveling and <em>loved</em> that he was in control of it. Skillfully repositioning Thrawn to the side with his hand, he flicked his tongue across the smooth, sensitive mound between his legs where Eli had two, coaxing more liquid from the tracts that pulsed steadily in his hand. With the apex of his tongue, Eli drew a line up one of them to taste the sweeter, flavorful essence all the way up. The rigid ring his lips made compressed around Thrawn and he closed his eyes at the sound of his name falling from the other’s lips. A hand tangled in his brown hair, gripping the soft locks as he gradually sank down, rolling his tongue along the unique surface of the rougher ridges.</p><p>A thought crossed Eli’s mind and he couldn’t help but smile around Thrawn. </p><p>Through Thrawn’s half-lidded eyes he caught it, and his hand fell away. “What is funny?”</p><p>Eli retreated with a pop, keeping a firm grasp on the base. “I’m sorry, I’m just imagining what a shock it must have been for the first man when they found out they could carry.”</p><p>Thrawn hummed, but it was strained, his breathing growing a little uneven. When Eli released him, Thrawn canted forward at the sudden, unexpected withdrawal, a small keening whine escaping him.</p><p>“So tell me this-”</p><p>Eli could see the frustrated impatience seeping through Thrawn’s usually composed expression. </p><p>“Eli,” he interrupted, as steadily as his need would allow. “I think the time for talking has passed.”</p><p>Eli chuckled, breath hot against Thrawn’s groin. “Oh <em>alright.</em> I hear ya.”</p><p>“You cannot be surprised,” Thrawn admonished with a sly look down at him. “This is your doing.”</p><p>Eli snickered again before swallowing what he could of Thrawn in one smooth motion, until he felt him bump firmly against the back of his throat. Up until this point Thrawn had been disinclined to allow himself any physical touch for weeks, what with their disagreements and his desire to avoid any… accidents. But now that he was all for it and was allowing himself to finally be intimate, Eli found that he’d missed pleasing Thrawn far more than he’d missed being pleasured. He bobbed, feeling Thrawn’s arousal hot and heavy on his tongue, gripping Thrawn's hip with one hand hard enough to silently communicate that yes, his goal was to bring Thrawn pleasure but also just <em>who</em> was in charge of that pleasure. It wasn’t long before Thrawn was fighting his hold on him, squirming beneath his touch, hands clenching the sheets so hard his knuckles were an even paler blue. </p><p>“If you’d like to do this together-” Thrawn warned.</p><p>Eli pulled off to provocatively lick a swollen tract, and another and another as if to indicate his intent. “I told you... I’m getting more than one out of you tonight.”</p><p>Thrawn laughed, strained and slightly wary of the glint in Eli’s eye before they closed and the wet heat of his mouth eclipsed Thrawn’s thoughts again. Eli’s hand and mouth worked him in tandem again, sucking and swallowing as if trying to devour him, pumping frantically until Thrawn was writhing beneath him, lifting his hips off the mattress to chase the warmth of Eli’s mouth. </p><p>Thrawn’s urgent whisper of ‘faster, Eli’ shot a spine-tingling thrill up Eli’s back and he knew Thrawn was close, the glow of his eyes barely visible, his chest expanding rapidly with each shallow inhale. He seized Eli’s hair again, clutching at the roots, on the verge of pain. With one final bob and twist, Thrawn grew harder and spilled into his mouth with a choked gasp as he came, twitching and shaking, holding Eli in place as hot jets splashed the back of his throat.</p><p>Eli slowed when Thrawn shuddered one last time and leisurely popped off, wiping his soaked hand on the soft sheets and finding his own breathing ragged and uneven. He winced a little, realizing he’d dug his nails belligerently into Thrawn’s thigh, leaving behind little purple imprints on his blue skin. Surreptitiously, Eli wiped at the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand to clean up the mess that had trickled down his chin. He licked his lips, tasting Thrawn on his tongue as he fought the urge to roll his hips against the bunched up sheets or slip his hand inside his own briefs. Carefully, he managed to stand, concentrating on bringing his focus to something else — datafiles, spreadsheets, <em>anything</em> else, but how dangerously close he’d been just from that.</p><p>Without a word and only a brief kiss, he strode to the window, opening it a crack to feel the cool breeze against his heated skin.</p><p>“Eli,” Thrawn wondered from his spot on the bed. “What are you doing?” </p><p>The human just smiled. “Just uh... gettin’ some fresh air.”</p><p>It only took a second for Thrawn to understand. He smiled sympathetically when he noticed how Eli purposefully angled his hips away from him.</p><p>“I am sorry you must wait.”</p><p>A humorous snort came from the other man. “Don’t be. It’s just…” his hips did a little wiggle. “Uncomfortable.”</p><p>Thrawn rolled onto his side toward him and rested his head in his palm to admire the view. Almost as an afterthought, he yanked a handful of sheets out from underneath him to drape haphazardly across his waist. Not that it did much good, Eli thought. The man was still ridiculously enticing even without his persistent erection out in the open for all to see. </p><p>Eli forced himself to look away. “It’ll go away.”</p><p>“Not for long, I hope.” </p><p>Eli just grinned out the window.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ahead is more smut and it’s very long. I realize it’s not for everyone, and keep in mind that there’s a “goal” here for these guys so if you’re not about reading how it happens, feel free to skip to the end of this chapter so Thrass can just tell you if it worked or not.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Thrawn granted him a few minutes of private respite when he left and returned with two glasses of water, handing one to Eli with a sweet smile before returning to his place on the bed. He waited in silence, patiently allowing Eli time to collect himself —although Eli wouldn’t exactly call staring at your mate with come-fuck-me-eyes as leaving them in peace. He tried ignoring him, tried stopping his mind from wandering to the naked man behind him, tried redirecting blood flow to anywhere but —</p>
<p>“Eli.” </p>
<p>The human jumped.</p>
<p>“Enough time has passed,” Thrawn told him quietly. “If you feel able to proceed.” </p>
<p>‘Able’ in this scenario was probably more of a relative term; Eli was more than <em>ready.</em></p>
<p>He sauntered over, eyes fixed on the tented sheet Thrawn had used to cover himself. Chiss biology was… fortunate, to say the least. Eli sucked his bottom lip between his teeth as he tried to tell the desire in his gut to abate just a little while longer. He tucked his fingers into the waistband of his own briefs, ready to strip. </p>
<p>“You sure you want this?” </p>
<p>From where Thrawn lay waiting, propped up on his elbows and watching Eli, his eyes flicked downward and he asked with thinly veiled sarcasm, “Is it not obvious?”</p>
<p>Eli’s hands slipped from his waistband, coming to rest stubbornly on his hips. “That’s not what I meant.”</p>
<p>Thrawn stared at him for a moment, long enough for Eli’s vague curiosity to bend toward definitive worry. </p>
<p>“Off,” Thrawn commanded, sitting up and gesturing to the only garment Eli was still wearing. </p>
<p>Eli hesitated for the span of two heartbeats before slipping his briefs past his hips and kicking them off. Thrawn’s eyes didn’t leave his as he tossed back the sheets and curled a long finger, beckoning him closer with a small, mischievous smile. Eli smirked, allowing himself to be guided by his hips and lowered to straddle his husband's thighs. Thrawn’s larger hands spanned the width of his torso, traveling feather-light up his sides before caressing Eli’s face with tenderness much too gentle for a Chiss. He brought their lips together in a passionate kiss that Eli supposed was his answer to whether or not Thrawn wanted ‘this.’</p>
<p>The kiss deepened, lips parting to invite in the satiny warmth of the other’s tongue. The recent throbbing between Eli’s legs returned much too quickly and he felt himself grow stiff against Thrawn’s stomach. His knees dug into the mattress as he leaned into him, seeking just enough friction to take the edge off. He found it when their erections brushed and the heat of his own arousal rubbed against Thrawn’s, sending little jolts of pleasure skirting heedlessly through their bodies. </p>
<p>They broke away, lips kiss-swollen and glossy, bodies aching and breathless. </p>
<p>“Lay back,” Eli encouraged, flattening his palm against Thrawn’s broad chest, suspense seeping through the whispered words. </p>
<p>He watched Thrawn settle himself comfortably against the plush pillows, grabbing one that Eli usually used to help prop his head up. Eli knew it was simple logistics; Thrawn was taller than him therefore angles and flexibility could make all the difference here. This would not be new to Thrawn, but it was new to <em>them,</em> and as such required a certain level of care, finesse, and discretion, but the very pronounced need between Eli’s legs screamed that he bury himself inside Thrawn at his earliest convenience.  </p>
<p>Eli drank in the sight before him, eyes traveling wantonly over every curve and angle and edge of Thrawn, exposed and willing and consenting to everything Eli might offer him. He was… intriguing — in ways Eli hadn’t thought him to be before this, both vulnerable and powerful in the way that only Thrawn could be. His own cock filled to full attention, jutting out toward Thrawn as if directing his disoriented brain toward what he really wanted. Thrawn’s eyes flashed to it, the fingers of his right hand twitching as if wanting to reach for it.</p>
<p>“You just relax,” Eli soothed, laying a hand lovingly on Thrawn’s stomach. </p>
<p>“I am doing so,” Thrawn assured him.</p>
<p>“I read the pamphlets and all, but I still might need a little guidance with this,” Eli confessed, pressing his mouth to the inside of Thrawn’s bent up knee. </p>
<p>“I will help you,” Thrawn encouraged with a kind smile. “Although I highly doubt you’ll require much direction.”</p>
<p>Eli leaned over sideways, collecting a bottle of lube from the top drawer of the bedside table. Thrawn all but laughed at the amount Eli squirted into his hand.</p>
<p>“What?” the human wondered, chuckling as well.</p>
<p>“That is a bit much,” Thrawn said, watching him with one arm tucked up under his head. </p>
<p>“Shh,” Eli teased with a sly smile. His own sex organ did not produce lubricant like Thrawn’s, so for good measure he squeezed out a little more then lined up a single, slicked finger and slid one knuckle in at a time, watching Thrawn’s face as he pulled out and twisted back in.</p>
<p>He often assumed Thrawn’s pain threshold was higher than any human’s, certainly higher than Eli’s own pain tolerance. He wasn’t exactly sure just how Thrawn had done this before, but he had every intention of making it enjoyable for him this time around. His eyes flashed to Thrawn’s patient ones. </p>
<p>His husband grinned at him. “I am fine, Eli.”</p>
<p>The gentle reassurance was enough to persuade Eli to add another and slowly press in. A soft moan escaped Thrawn as his eyes fell shut, savoring the momentary burn and fuller feeling. </p>
<p>“Eli,” he said in his calm, sultry voice. “Kiss me.”</p>
<p>“Huh,” Eli started. “Oh, yeah. Sorry.”</p>
<p>Eli did, bringing his free hand to scrape lightly along Thrawn’s side, little pale bumps blossoming across his chest and stomach as Eli’s hand traveled higher, teasing a thumb repeatedly over a blue nipple until it hardened to a darker peak. He pinched it between his forefinger and thumb, tugging playfully with an impish grin. That drew a low moan from the Chiss as he arched hastily off the bed and further into Eli’s hand. Eli had never topped before, but he decided very quickly that eliciting any kind of pleasurable sound from Thrawn’s mouth was his favorite by far. Eli pressed a hand to Thrawn’s stomach, grounding him where he lay as he pushed his fingers deeper, twisting them to pull out and back in faster.</p>
<p>Earlier Thrawn had mentioned something that would need to happen for this to work. Eli didn’t quite understand all of it but Thrawn had said he’d know when it was time. Experimentally, he curled his fingers until he felt a small, slightly rougher mound under the pad of his middle finger. Slowly and carefully he repeated the motion, doing his best to pinpoint the exact angle that might feel best for Thrawn — until Thrawn’s hand abruptly left the sheets to grab at his forearm. </p>
<p>“There?”</p>
<p>Thrawn hummed, nodding. So Eli continued massaging the area with the pad of his finger, a little timidly as he’d never done this before. He fought the blush at knowing Thrawn was just watching him with that little smirk tugging at his lips, making his eyes glitter. </p>
<p>“It does not hurt, Eli.”</p>
<p>“Will you just— <em>shush.”</em> He kissed him deeply. “Just let me do this, please.”</p>
<p>Thrawn kissed him back, smiling against his lips with smug satisfaction. The bundle beneath Eli’s finger did not open — it would do that later, closer to climax — but it did relax a little as any tight muscle coaxed into relaxation would. At the same time, Thrawn’s eyes fluttered closed and a soft, exultant sigh slipped past his lips; Eli knew he’d done something right just then. Another stroke and Thrawn’s erection twitched, it’s length bowed in a gentle arc toward Eli as if begging him to tend to it. For Eli, just knowing he could make Thrawn feel good, sent another wave of pleasurable satisfaction and expectation skirting through his core, straight to the throbbing pulse point between his legs. He hovered inches above Thrawn’s mouth, feeling the others’ breath hot against his cheek, becoming steadily more ragged. </p>
<p>“I love you,” he whispered, to a fervent nod from Thrawn, who’d relaxed enough to insert a third finger. Unrestrained pleasure broke free from the man beneath the calm and Thrawn let loose a sound that appealed more to Eli than anything he’d ever heard. He honestly hadn’t thought Thrawn would be alright with surrendering control — not like this — let alone do it so gracefully, but he did. And he did it while looking <em>so damn good.</em> </p>
<p>Eli told him so and almost without conscious thought grasped his own arousal, fighting the urge to openly stroke himself or rub his thumb over his dripping cockhead and end it all now; he shouldn’t’ve waited this long. Gingerly, he squeezed the base — willing his muddled brain not to do anything more — hoping that it would curb the intensity but knowing it wouldn’t; he only felt his blood thrum more urgently, hot and hard in his hand. Testing to see if Thrawn was ready — because Eli was <em>painfully</em> aroused— he curled all three fingers and Thrawn let out a mewling cry, fingernails digging into his arm. </p>
<p>“I take it you like that?”</p>
<p>Thrawn agreed, his own arousal dripping lines of thin, watery fluid onto his belly. Eli rolled his hips into his own firm grasp, desperate to experience what his fingers were feeling, that tight heat squeezing in all around him. He thought he might go crazy before Thrawn was finally asking for him. Despite his desperation, he hesitated, searching Thrawn’s gaze.</p>
<p>“I want this to be…”</p>
<p>Enjoyable? Pleasurable? Eli wanted to roll his eyes. Obviously those things were desirable, but how was he expected to convey that what he wanted most out of this was far more than that; it <em>meant</em> more than that. But Thrawn understood the words Eli couldn’t seem to conjure. Somehow, Thrawn always understood.</p>
<p>“I know what to expect, Eli,” came his gentle reassurance. His long fingers curved around the back of Eli’s head, his thumb tenderly caressing his cheek. “And I know that because it is you, it will be <em>perfect.”</em> </p>
<p>Tension left Eli’s shoulders, the pressure of the moment floating away as if carried off on a summer breeze. He breathed.</p>
<p>“And you should know,” Thrawn continued, threading his fingers soothingly through the soft hair at the base of Eli’s skull, making his eyes drift shut. “Even if we are unsuccessful this first time, it will not be our last attempt. My decision stands; I will not change my mind.”</p>
<p>There was nothing Thrawn could have said to ease Eli’s heart and soul the way those words had. Eli hadn’t any reason to believe Thrawn would change his mind—that just wasn’t Thrawn — and he also hadn’t considered what would happen if this first time didn’t work, but hearing those words spoken aloud, hearing Thrawn commit to this; to them, and witnessing the fire in his eyes when he spoke of those promises... </p>
<p>Eli kissed him and he could taste his sincerity, his readiness.</p>
<p>“I am ready when you are,” Thrawn confirmed.</p>
<p>Running a one-second, full body scan, Eli found that he was more ready than he’d ever been. He repressed his chuckle at his state of arousal having not diminished from the length of time it had been shelved, but how it had <em>grown</em> from Thrawn’s sweet sentiment.</p>
<p>Eli couldn't help it; he found commitment incredibly beguiling.   </p>
<p>Coating himself in a thick layer of lube, Eli kissed Thrawn just shy of hurriedly before pressing forward. The first time, he found more resistance than he’d expected and pulled back to lather on more lube.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Eli-”</em>
</p>
<p>“Shh.”</p>
<p>Thrawn let out a short snort at his husband's caution and just to prove that he was indeed ready, splayed his legs out even further. Eli lined up again, pumping himself a few times, the hottest part of him pressed firmly against Thrawn’s opening, aching to slip inside. He met Thrawn’s gaze and watched his fleeting wince come and go, Eli’s own brief moment of concern elapsing just as quickly when Thrawn welcomed the thickest part of him inside. </p>
<p><em>“Thrawn—”</em> Eli breathed, balling up the sheets in his fist. <em>“Kriff</em> you feel good.”</p>
<p>At Thrawn’s encouraging, eager groan he sank in deeper, inch by agonizing inch into his lover’s tight heat. He went slow, but when Eli checked in with him his eyes were unfocused, their glow lighting up Eli’s chest as he stared blankly ahead, his own rising and falling with each shallow breath. </p>
<p>“Hey,” Eli whispered, a hint of urgency in his soft voice. “You with me?”</p>
<p>Red eyes lifting to meet his, sincere and transparent. “I am with you. And... am thinking <em>only</em> of you.”</p>
<p>Eli smiled at that last part, wondering if the dark recesses of his subconscious projected so clearly to everyone, or just Thrawn.</p>
<p>“But I would like <em>all</em> of you… please,” Thrawn added.</p>
<p>Eli smiled and did as he was asked, eliciting a long, gratified hum from Thrawn. The Chiss breathed through the stretch, never fully accepting all of Eli more than in this moment. The human paused for a minute, allowing Thrawn’s body to acclimate, but also so Eli himself could get used to it. He wanted this to last a little while longer, at least.</p>
<p>“You are being gentle, Eli.”</p>
<p>Eli blinked. “Well, yeah, I just-”</p>
<p>“Am I this gentle with you?”</p>
<p>Eli all but laughed. “No.”</p>
<p>“And do you enjoy what I do to you?”</p>
<p>Yes, as a matter of fact, he did. Very much. </p>
<p>The corner of Thrawn’s mouth lifted at Eli’s expression. “Just a suggestion.” </p>
<p>Eli chuckled and kissed his cheek, lips brushing the shell of his ear as he whispered. “Is that your way of asking me to fuck you?”</p>
<p>Thrawn eyes glittered. “I’m glad you heard me.” </p>
<p>Eli, now feeling floored and assertive, pulled back easily and drove forward <em>hard,</em> gauging Thrawn’s reaction before drawing out again, only this time he drew with him a sharp hiss from Thrawn. At first Eli feared he’d done something to hurt him. He realized by the way Thrawn’s eyes squinted but his brow didn't furrow, that the hiss he’d made wasn't a sound of pain, but of disapproval at Eli pulling out. Eli rocked forward again until he could go no further.</p>
<p>“Good?” he muttered amidst Thrawn’s moan of satisfaction. </p>
<p>Eli appreciated his reassuring nod; he wanted them on the same page for this. For a second, he considered apologizing that he couldn’t get deeper, but quickly decided that was a stupid thing to say. He had nothing to hide and nothing to apologize for. There wasn’t anything about Eli that would surprise Thrawn, including his physical attributes. Eli knew he had nothing to be ashamed of and Thrawn would tell him the same. He would just have to make this work. </p>
<p>“If you want me deep for this, I might need your help,” Eli told him.</p>
<p>Thrawn blinked his eyes open fully, regarding him with renewed interest.</p>
<p>“Whatever you desire, Eli.”</p>
<p>Eli ran the back of one of his fingers down his cheek. “I desire your pleasure; your <em>complete</em> and <em>utter ruin.”</em></p>
<p>Thrawn quirked an eyebrow. “Is <em>that</em> all?”</p>
<p>The human smirked, mischief creeping into his brown eyes. “No, but tonight we only have time for so much. Can you wrap your legs around me?”</p>
<p>Thrawn threw his long legs around him and locked them in place with his ankles.</p>
<p>“Now, roll.”</p>
<p>Thrawn did so, effectively tilting his hips to give Eli a better angle.  </p>
<p>“Again,” Eli instructed, noting Thrawn’s satisfied hum and craving to hear more of it. Eli wanted to be the one to drive him wild, to bring him right up to the edge again and again, to hear him shout his name when he couldn’t hold back any longer. He thrust forward at the same time Thrawn rolled his hips and the other’s eyes shot wide in momentary surprise.</p>
<p>“Keep going,” Eli encouraged, registering the slight hitch in Thrawn’s movements.</p>
<p>Eli set an even, steady pace above Thrawn, sinking repeatedly into the warmth of his channel with each deep thrust. Every time the motion was met by an ardent roll of Thrawn’s hips until the Chiss was digging his nails into Eli’s triceps with the echoed strength of a once feral man. Come morning there were sure to be little marks all along Eli’s olive-toned skin, but pain was the farthest thing from his mind. Want and need and the incorrigible thirst to satisfy his lover in ways he never had before escalated until a deep, resonant growl like the sound of rolling thunder rolled off his tongue with an unfamiliar ferocity. The compelling drive to simply take what Thrawn had given him and stake his claim was still strange and foreign to Eli, but not for long.</p>
<p>Eli gave up asking if Thrawn was alright as the fierce pace of their bodies matched that of their frantically beating hearts. He knew now which of Thrawn’s looks meant harder and which frowns meant deeper and he learned quickly that none of Thrawn’s expressions were asking him to stop. Eli kissed a frenzied cluster of wet, sloppy kisses to every inch of heated blue skin his mouth could reach. Each kiss more insistent, more inelegant than the last until they were replaced wholly by rougher, urgent love-bites. </p>
<p>Thrawn released a crooning moan, drawing four lines with his fingernails in the thin layer of glistening sweat down Eli’s spine, the long musculature there working overtime to push and arch, stimulating all pleasure fibers deep within Thrawn with fierce precision. The Chiss dropped his legs from where he’d had them locked around Eli’s waist and easily reached around to the human’s backside to help encourage the rampant movement, his own hips desperate to meet each and every one of Eli’s thrusts.  </p>
<p>“Harder… <em>deeper,</em> Eli. I am almost...”</p>
<p>Eli grunted his acknowledgment, unable to breathe for panting but continued pounding into him with each merciless thrust. He pitched his hips at just the right angle, releasing the sheets to grab hold of Thrawn’s — </p>
<p>Eli felt him shudder, saw his jaw go slack, heard him <em>whimper</em> below him and from deep inside Eli felt a gush of warmth, wetting Thrawn’s walls even further. It drenched him as he continued his relentless drive forward with each bruising thrust. It felt good; far too good for Eli to stop and wonder what had caused it. It wasn’t until another whine escaped Thrawn that Eli finally slowed.</p>
<p>“Did you just-”</p>
<p>Bottom lip trembling, Thrawn pushed Eli back by the hips, just enough to bring with him the warmth from inside. The clear liquid dripped off Eli, leaving behind a small puddle on the sheets. </p>
<p>Thrawn was still breathing heavily. “I am ready now.”</p>
<p>Eli grinned and kissed him sweetly, gathering <em>that</em> was what had needed to happen for this to work. “Say no more.”</p>
<p>Coated in the warm, extra fluid, each of Eli’s thrusts grew obscenely louder, each roll of his hips rhythmically smoother. All timidness gone, he bit down on Thrawn’s neck without warning, finding nothing but fuel in the other’s zealous moan at the sharp sting. As if this was a battle and Thrawn was too stubborn to concede defeat, he returned fire, grasping at the roots of Eli’s hair and yanking his head back, exposing the lighter colored column of his throat. Eli gasped before Thrawn even did what he’d anticipated. A low, sonorous chuckle floated up to him from below. Even when bottoming, Thrawn maintained a certain… disposition. Wrecking Eli with well-rehearsed tactics was well in his realm. With a questing flick of his tongue, Thrawn expertly found the spot where stimulation there always made Eli’s balls tighten and his nipples hard and of course Thrawn knew exactly where it was so he sucked right there — <em>hard.</em> </p>
<p><em>“Fuck,</em> Thrawn,” Eli ground out shakily, the movement of his hips faltering. </p>
<p>Ignoring Thrawn’s quiet snicker but loving the sound of it all the same, Eli struck up an unforgiving rhythm. He knew he was strong for his size, but was still impressed at the power his own body exerted. The intensity behind each desperate thrust surprised him as he fucked into Thrawn with the strength of a battering ram, hard enough that their bodies migrated up toward the headboard. Thrawn had to throw a hand above his head to prevent himself from slamming into it.</p>
<p>“Sor-”</p>
<p>Thrawn yanked him down by his hair, planting a hot, open-mouthed kiss to his lips to keep him from saying the word. He held him close so that Eli’s stomach rubbed gratuitously against his own weeping shaft, soaking both their stomachs with slick, wet streaks as Eli rolled his body on his torso. Once, twice, three times…</p>
<p>He lowered himself to his elbows and tucked them securely against Thrawn’s rib cage, his forehead falling to his husband’s shoulder, his ragged pants growing hotter against his chest. Thrawn’s encouraging grunts and groans sounded loudly near his ear and soon that was all Eli could hear, their chests slicked with sweat and sliding easily against one another. The faded scent of Thrawn’s crisp, clean body wash — mingled with the musky scent of exertion — was always the perfect cocktail of seductive rapture for Eli. </p>
<p>Eli hastily brushed a few damp strands of hair from his eyes as he hurdled them toward complete ruin — breaking down all barriers, reducing Thrawn to rubble in his arms. Their forehead’s met, their breath hot and heavy on each other’s cheeks. He gritted his teeth at Thrawn’s nails digging into his ass as his mate begged with every stifled whine to be filled and <em>finished.</em> </p>
<p>The human tweaked a hardened peak on Thrawn’s chest just to hear another of his helpless, broken moans and drove forward with everything he had, aware of nothing but Thrawn and the excruciating drive for completion. He reached blindly for one of Thrawn’s hands— found it, and tightly intertwined their fingers together, whispering a breathless “love you” from above.</p>
<p>Eli thrust into him over and over, each sharp snap of his hips also dragging his torso along Thrawn’s flushed cock, the tip of it a rich, deep violet now. Taken higher toward something that demanded submission to achieve, Eli knew Thrawn was losing himself to the moment, to the eager grunts from Eli’s mouth and the staccato slapping of their sweaty bodies. A low bellow resounded deep in Thrawn’s chest, rising steadily until it ripped from his throat, becoming a fitful mix of pleas and moans; a litany of lewd Cheunh expletives bursting from his mouth. </p>
<p>“Faster, Eli…” Thrawn’s words were urgent, his voice tight. “<em>Faster… please.”</em> </p>
<p>Eli’s short exhales came out breathy and broken as he rocked even harder into Thrawn at that, rising up a little so he could reach between them and wrap his fingers around Thrawn's soaking shaft. </p>
<p>“There is no need-” Thrawn confessed, his blue hand covering Eli’s tan one.</p>
<p>“It works better if we finish together,” Eli breathed, panting with the effort of holding off. “The pamphlet says so.” </p>
<p>Thrawn managed to smile and kiss him. “What else does it say?”</p>
<p>Eli slowed, searching Thrawn's gaze to find that he wasn’t being mocked; Thrawn appeared genuinely interested. Eli supposed that even if it didn’t happen for them tonight it would be in their best interest to at least put forth a solid attempt. At the very least, if the information in the pamphlet was at all accurate, Thrawn should find it’s suggestions quite… stimulating. So Eli pushed himself up and lifted both of Thrawn’s legs, bending his knees up to his chest and instructing him to hold them open, smirking at the flash of curious enthusiasm in Thrawn’s eyes. </p>
<p>Eli’s mouth captured his as he shoved in, drowning out Thrawn’s appreciative groan. After allowing Thrawn a mere second to adjust, he began a grueling series of perfectly angled thrusts, racking Thrawn’s body over and over again while he begged for Eli not to stop, nails digging into the back of his own parted thighs. The springs of the mattress screamed in protest with every frenzied thrust, becoming more and more urgent as blinding pleasure rose higher and higher, their cries echoing each other and off the walls, teetering on the edge of sweet release.  </p>
<p>Eli didn’t dare let up as he braced himself above Thrawn with one hand and reached down to grip him with the other, stroking frantically in time with his thrusts. The thick shaft expanded in Eli’s grasp; he knew what would come next. As his own climax continued to build, the familiar tightening in his balls became nearly unbearable and for a moment he was worried he might finish before Thrawn, but with a few more brisk pumps Thrawn’s body went rigid, his mouth falling open to emit a harsh, strangled cry. His head and torso curled forward as if the strength of his orgasm was enough to levitate him off the bed, forehead colliding with Eli’s shoulder. Thrawn growled out his husband’s name as he came, a fountain of cum bursting from a swollen tract, splattering a warm, wet mess across his own stomach and chest. </p>
<p>Moments later Eli choked out his own guttural curse as he came harder than he ever had with Thrawn flexing uncontrollably around him. Blissful agony ripped through every cell of his being as white hot pleasure shot out, the sharp snap of his hips became lazy thrusts as he continued to empty into Thrawn before collapsing on top of him. Thrawn’s legs dropped to either side of him with a spent, worn-out sigh. </p>
<p>“Fuck,” Eli gasped, panting heavily. He kissed Thrawn’s cheek and braced himself with shaky arms above him, not even bothering to wipe off his hand this time. <em>“Damn,</em> that was-” </p>
<p>Thrawn pulled him down again. His kiss was still hot and demanding, carrying all the same insatiable intensity as when they’d first started. They broke away, gasping for air before their lips met again, softer this time. </p>
<p>Eli groaned into his mouth before pulling back. “Sweet Csilla that was hot.”</p>
<p>Thrawn chucked. “Indeed.” Shifting his hips, he grimaced. </p>
<p>“Here… let me,” Eli took hold of his hips and began to pull out slowly—</p>
<p>And was stopped when Thrawn locked his legs around him once again. “It says to keep you here.”</p>
<p>Confusion rattled Eli. “Huh?”</p>
<p>Thrawn blinked. “Your pamphlet,” he explained, wrapping his arms under the humans armpits and up his back, holding him in place. “It says to keep you inside.”</p>
<p>Eli huffed out a laugh, awestruck. He should’ve known Thrawn would’ve done his research.</p>
<p>The Chiss frowned. “You want this to work, do you not?”</p>
<p>Eli smiled at his earnest expression and nodded, kissing him. Embolden, Eli snuck a hand between them, taking hold of Thrawn once more.</p>
<p>“Eli-”</p>
<p>“It can’t hurt,” he protested, selfishly desiring to see Thrawn come undone again.</p>
<p>It couldn’t’ve been two minutes before his husband was a groaning, whimpering mess again. Thrawn lifted his hips from the mattress, pressing up almost desperately to meet Eli. “Move…” he ground out, breath ragged and urgent, indicating he was close again. “Will… help coax...”</p>
<p>“Ah,” Eli said, gently rolling his hips to massage the narrow channel deep within Thrawn, coaxing his seed in further. He ran his thumb deliberately over a single untapped tract as he rhythmically fucked his own cum deeper into Thrawn.</p>
<p>The unfettered sob that escaped just before Thrawn came <em>again</em> told Eli they were done. More warm, thick semen shot from another tract in a broken stream, decorating Thrawn's chest and stomach with more of the sticky, colorless fluid. </p>
<p>Eli only stopped his steady stroking when Thrawn’s left leg ceased it’s erratic twitching and he was able to get in a smooth, solid inhale. Thrawn’s eyes remained closed so Eli lovingly stroked his hair, pushing back the wayward strands and planting a slew of gentle kisses to his forehead. It seemed to take forever until Thrawn’s eyes finally fluttered open to meet Eli’s, their glow a little dimmer now. </p>
<p>Sweaty and completely zapped of all energy, Eli felt he was unable to do much of anything besides lay there. So he rolled off and sprawled out beside Thrawn, swatting a few of his own damp hairs out of his eyes. “Wow, we gotta do that more often.”</p>
<p>Thrawn, feeling pretty wrung out and depleted now, just groaned in response. His leg was still visibly trembling. </p>
<p>Worried that it might have been too much for him, Eli rolled on to his side and placed his open hand over Thrawn’s beating heart. “Hey, are you alright?” </p>
<p>The feeling that washed over Eli at the sight of Thrawn’s blissed out, lazy half smile was all the reassurance he’d ever need. </p>
<p>“C’mere,” Eli whispered, sliding his arm under Thrawn’s neck.</p>
<p>Thrawn, to Eli’s surprise, rolled toward him and nuzzled his forehead into the curve of his lover’s neck with chaste-like charm. Eli didn’t believe that Thrawn could ever portray virginal convincingly, but the way he cuddled up to him… Eli supposed this was as soft as Thrawn, battle-hardened warrior, would ever be. But Thrawn, his husband, may make a few exceptions after tonight.</p>
<p>He released a heavy sigh and Eli felt the warmth of his breath still hot against his chest. Tucking his fingers beneath Thrawn’s defined jawline, he raised the Chiss’ passion bruised lips to his, catching how the other’s eyes fluttered close in euphoric delight just before their lips met. His own contented sigh escaped through his nose at the soft, gentle caress as he rained delicate kisses across every inch of Thrawn’s face, pressing his lips to the crown of his head, light and tender and quite the opposite of what he’d imparted on him just minutes before. Eli knew multiple orgasms were taxing enough for a Chiss, let alone bottoming through them all. </p>
<p>Eli’s involuntary shiver made Thrawn reach down and tug the covers up to keep them warm as their sweat cooled. Pulling the blankets up to his chin, Thrawn remained nestled in closely, curled up in Eli’s arms with Eli’s fingers carding idly through the drying wisps of his disheveled locks.  </p>
<p>“You want to ask me something.” Thrawn’s soft baritone commented, leaving no room for question. </p>
<p>Eli shrugged, gently jostling Thrawn where he lay his head. “I’m debating asking what made you change your mind.”</p>
<p>“I will tell you, if you wish.”</p>
<p>Eli thought about it for a moment. Thrawn had told him there were no more secrets between them, that he’d shared everything with Eli that there was to share. Despite everything they had been through and the many times Thrawn had either kept something from him or flat out lied to keep him safe, Eli believed him this time. And as thankful to Thrawn as he was for confiding in him, Eli had come to the realization that maybe he didn’t need to know everything about his mate; that there were some things better left alone, or in the past. He certainly didn’t need to know everything about Thrawn to know that he loved him; genuinely and unconditionally. </p>
<p>Not to mention, if Eli had done his art interpretation correctly, he already knew what Thrawn saw in the paintings he’d left for him. </p>
<p>“No, I don’t think I want to know,” Eli said with a sweet smile. “It doesn’t really matter, I suppose. It only matters that you did.”</p>
<p>Thrawn squeezed him with the arm that lay draped across his stomach, kissed him, and settled back down in his arms. After a few minutes of whispered words and amorous praises, the convincing allure of sleep pulled at their consciousness and called them both to rest. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do you <em>know</em> what the Ascendancy will do when everyone discovers you’re to produce an heir?” his brother said, pestering him from his place at the head of the Mitth informal dining room table.</p>
<p>“I am having a <em>child,</em> Thrass,” Thrawn said dryly, gazing out the window as the snow fell. “Not an heir.”</p>
<p>Thrass snorted. “I know you hate it, but facts are facts: you’re practically royal, and royals have <em>heirs.”</em></p>
<p>Thrawn clasped his hands firmly behind his back. “I do not accept that.”</p>
<p>“Heron!” Thrass called to one of the men talking quietly in the corner with his own head of security. The two straightened as if momentarily worried they’d been caught fraternizing, which was nothing new to Thrass; he knew they’d been fucking for years.</p>
<p>“Tell me your boss doesn't make you wait on him like he’s the Csillan Czar reincarnated.”</p>
<p>“Do not answer that, Heron,” Thrawn said without turning around.</p>
<p>“Oh come now, Heron, you wouldn’t want poor Thrawn clinging to falsehoods regarding his own status-”</p>
<p>“Do not encourage him, Heron.”</p>
<p>“I am the Aristocra,” Thrass said, laughing loudly and pounding his fist on the table. “An illustrious <em>royal,</em> damn it. You are my brother, Thrawn, and as such are considered Mitth royalty. You are just as prissy and particular as the next. Go on, Heron, tell him.”</p>
<p>The room was silent for a moment, until Heron stood taller and said in his usual calm, proper voice. “I am treated splendidly in my current position, Aristocra, thank you for your concern. I know it comes from a place of great selflessness.” Thrass just laughed, muttering a curse and gathering from that moment that he’d lost this debate. “I have no complaints and I would rather eat my own toe than divulge anything to you. With that being said,” he cleared his throat, “it may remain to be seen whether Masters Thrawn and Eli’s child will be considered a Royal Heir, but I will gladly serve them as I have their fathers… assuming I am welcomed to, of course.”</p>
<p>Thrawn half turned, meeting Heron’s eye with a twinkle in his own. “We would be honored, Heron.” </p>
<p>Thrass tutted, half impressed, half annoyed that his plan backfired. “Fine, very well.” He stood and strode to his brother’s side by the window. “So you have yourself a loyal butler— <em>congratulations,</em> brother. But nevertheless, Csilla’s press is going to have a field day when they get wind of this. I can just see it now: Spawn of the Devil to be Born Within the Year: What you need to know before going underground.” </p>
<p>Thrawn glared at him.</p>
<p>Thrass conceded defeat with a small hand gesture. “I’m kidding. It’ll be my nephew, obviously. I have to be supportive.” </p>
<p>“You think it’s a boy?”</p>
<p>Thrass shrugged noncommittally. “Probably. <em>Hopefully.</em> Heaven knows you won’t know what to do with a girl. If it’s a boy I suppose that’s why you’ve gone all grey and peaky lately. Gasp, maybe you’ll have twins! What do you think, Heron?” </p>
<p>“Are you finished?” Thrawn said in a low tone.</p>
<p>The elder brother just chuckled, turning his attention to the glacial expanse out the high window before them.</p>
<p>They stood like that for a handful of minutes, standing in comfortable silence as they watched the snow fall. When Thrass finally spoke again his voice was calm, kind, and soft. “You know Thrawn, <em>I</em> never said you were the Ascendancy’s greatest hero, but I know people who have. The majority of our nation believes that. Whoever your child turns out to be, they will be celebrated. Because of you, and because of Eli. I am certain of that.”</p>
<p>Thrawn breathed in a deep breath. “I just want them to be healthy, Thrass, and I want them to be normal.”</p>
<p>Thrawn jumped as Thrass’s booming laugh filled the quiet space, his long, silky hair falling in front of his face as he bent over, clutching at his stomach.</p>
<p>Thrawn just stared at him, unimpressed. </p>
<p>His brother swiped at a single tear of laughter and before he turned away, gave Thrawn a hefty pat on the back. “Normal? Be realistic, Thrawn. No one’s gonna take you seriously when you say shit like that.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next is the Epilogue when we flashforward a handful of years. It should be up tomorrow!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Welcome to the end of this monstrosity, wherein everyone gets their happy ending. &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>
<em>Epilogue: Six Years Later</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Senior Captain Eli’van’to had not intended to disrupt the day of wedding preparations, but his agile five-year-old insisted on dodging him at every corner, racing up and down the halls of the grand building and whipping past beautiful vases and massive art pieces hung precariously on the walls. </p>
<p>So here he was, a full-grown man and member of the CDF, chasing his son’s full head of messy brown hair as he sprinted through the corridors of the Mitth Family Mansion thirty minutes before the festivities. </p>
<p>As he rushed past room after room, he caught sight of two familiar Chiss inside an open door and skidded to a halt. He back peddled to find the groom suited up in everything but his Mitth formal jacket and Thrawn, wearing a variant of the same. They were standing by the window, talking quietly as the warm Coperan sun shone through, blanketing the burgundy shag rug in its golden light. </p>
<p>Eli’s heart leapt, a sweet grin spreading across his face when his eyes met Thrawn’s.</p>
<p>Time stood still.</p>
<p>He was only vaguely aware of his son's persistent, “Dad!” from down the hall. </p>
<p>Thrawn gave him a small half smile and Eli melted. </p>
<p>Little footsteps pattered up to him and the human knew his son had caught sight of his other parent. </p>
<p>“Father!” the boy cried as he ran forward and wrapped his arms around Thrawn’s legs.</p>
<p>“Hello, Mitth’lani’eso,” Thrawn greeted his son.  </p>
<p>The boy’s earnest pale blue face — lighter than most Chiss children — turned towards the groom, “Good day, Uncle.”</p>
<p>“Good day, half human.” </p>
<p>The boy stuck his nose in the air, red eyes flashing, “I’m half Chiss.”</p>
<p>“That you are,” Eli said, standing before his husband, flattening the collar of his suit and resting his palms on his chest. “Hello, handsome.”</p>
<p>Thrawn kissed him in response. “I thought you and Lani planned to keep Vah’nya and Un’hee company before the ceremony?”</p>
<p>“That was the plan,” Eli said, turning to his son. “Until someone wanted a look around.”</p>
<p>“Which turned into Hide-and-Seek?” Thrass asked with a smile.</p>
<p>“And then rapidly progressed to a game of tag.”</p>
<p>Thrawn laid a supportive hand on Lani's head. “Both games require an adaptive and strategic thought process. Something I, for one, wholly support.” He winked at his son.</p>
<p>Eli just rolled his eyes, smiling. Thrawn often encouraged even mildly disruptive behavior if a case could be made for enhancing his son’s tactical skills. Eli had to admit that it was working.</p>
<p>“Dad says I’m going be better at battle tactics than you, father,” Lani said in the same intelligent, proper sounding intonation as his father. </p>
<p>Thrawn turned to Eli with raised eyebrows. “Oh does he?”</p>
<p>In the past, Eli’s cheeks might have turned a beautiful shade of pink under that scrutinizing stare, but not any more.</p>
<p>“You’ve got some competition, I’ll tell you that much.”</p>
<p>Thrawn smiled down at Lani. “I welcome it.”</p>
<p>“How is testing going?” Thrass asked Eli quietly while Thrawn squatted down so Lani could tell him all about a new game he wanted to play with him that involved plotting points and taking out enemy ships. </p>
<p>“Good,” Eli told Thrass. “Excellent, actually; healthy as can be. His reasoning skills, language, mathematics… they’re all off the charts.”</p>
<p>“Of course they are,” Thrass said, grinning. “He has some pretty big boots to fill.”</p>
<p>Eli sighed, looking at Thrawn. “If he even wants to follow in those footsteps.”</p>
<p>Thrass eyed his brother-in-law, noting the hesitation in his voice. “I was talking about <em>yours.</em> But he has time. He’ll figure it out.” </p>
<p>“True.”</p>
<p>“And…?” </p>
<p>Eli met his gaze and after a moment, shook his head. </p>
<p>“Well,” Thrass said, straightening. “He is welcome to stay with Nemma and I if you and Thrawn are both away.”</p>
<p>“Thank you, Thrass,” Eli said quietly. “I mean, there was no guarantee he’d have been stationed on the <em>K’tici</em> with us, anyhow. Sky-walkers are typically taken from their family-”</p>
<p>Thrass placed a hand on his shoulder. “Then it is a good thing he will not be.”</p>
<p>Eli grinned at him before looking down in time to see Thrawn kiss Lani’s forehead and whisper something in his ear.</p>
<p>The boy hurried over to Eli and took his hand. “Come, dad. We have to go.”</p>
<p>“Do we?” Eli asked, as Lani pulled him across the room. “Why is that?” </p>
<p>“Father says if we go downstairs right now, I’ll get sweet ice later!” </p>
<p>Eli shot Thrawn a glare before he was yanked from the room. </p>
<p> </p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Soft instrumental music played from the string quartet in the corner as each guest found their seat in the expansive assembly hall. The space was meant for only the most esteemed ceremonies and banquets. The marriage of the Mitth Family Aristocra was by far the most talked about event since… </p>
<p>Well, since Lani was born.</p>
<p>Eli and Lani joined Vah’nya and Un’hee in the front row. While they waited for the ceremony to begin, Un’hee kept Lani entertained with a story about the first time she met his dads— back when they were “cool.” Eli just smiled and shook his head, refusing to believe he’d ever stopped being cool. </p>
<p>Thrawn stood behind Thrass at the front of the hall, under an archway made of ice. Eli could barely make out the freezing tube that ran through the center of it—it wouldn’t do to have an ice sculpture melting all over the wedding party. Wrapped around each side of the arch were floral arrangements from both their home planets, intertwining at the top to form a beautiful bouquet, symbolizing the merging of two Families and two worlds.    </p>
<p>Eli watched as Thrass kept muttering things nervously over his shoulder to Thrawn, sometimes fully turning around to face his brother. He adjusted the cuffs of his jacket countless times and pulled at the collar of his suit, clenching and unclenching his fists in order to wipe them on his trousers. Each time Thrass murmured something to Thrawn, his brother would respond in what Eli could only imagine was his calmest, most reassuring and encouraging tone. </p>
<p>A new tune began and the volume increased. People stood. Lani had to crane his neck to see what was happening, so Eli lifted him up so he could stand on his seat, holding on to the boy’s hips so he wouldn't topple over in his excitement. Eli turned his head to the front of the room, where Thrass was gripping his wrist tightly behind his back like Thrawn so often did. But when Thrawn stood like that he looked relaxed, confident and tranquil. Thrass looked anything but. </p>
<p>Thrawn grasped the other’s forearm briefly, whispering something in his ear before taking a step back. Eli watched the elder brother’s shoulders finally relax. </p>
<p>And then, to a beautiful crescendo of strings, Eli saw Thrass’s breath catch and a blissful smile appear on his lips. Eli looked to Thrawn, who was smiling at the bride—his new sister-in-law—before Eli himself turned his attention to Nemma, beautiful as ever. Her hair was braided elaborately, donned in a stunning pearl gown with slits along the bottom that revealed the blue fabric underneath. This would be her last time wearing blue.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><br/>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eli had but seconds to speak with Thrass and Nemma before they were ushered off once again—bonded pairs were hardly granted a moment to eat let alone breathe the day of their celebration. Before Nemma ran off, Eli had just enough time to comment on her wardrobe change; burgundy lace over a golden gown. She ran her hands down the front to flatten it, saying something about them just not being able to wait to consummate their union and ‘this ‘ol thing’ was all she could find to wear afterwards. Eli spit out the rest of his drink as he laughed through his coughing fit. She winked at him as they strode off to speak with her parents. She was joking, of course. At least, he thought she was. </p>
<p>With his beverage now empty, Eli made his way to the bar, catching glimpses of his son among the trees with the other children as they ran past. Eli could just imagine how filthy he was going to be at the end of the evening as he stood in line to get a drink, tapping his foot to the beat of the music. </p>
<p>He wandered around for a bit after that, stopping to take in his surroundings and remembering the last time he’d been on Copero. It had been a very different vibe then, just after the initial battle that sparked the civil war. To say that it felt like a lifetime ago was an understatement. Flowers were blooming all around him and the sun was just setting, a warm summer breeze flowing through the massive wooden pergola. There was so much green that Eli found it hard to believe that this planet was in the same system as the glacier world of Csilla. Eli decided he liked Copero better, although he’d learned to view Csilla as beautiful in its own right. </p>
<p>He caught sight of Thrawn from across the way, speaking casually with members of Eli’s adoptive family. He never thought he’d see the day; Thrawn’s outlook on the fourth family had changed considerably since Lani had been born. He was now no more wary of them than he was anyone else, which Eli supposed wasn’t really saying much. Thrawn was protective, but not overbearing, exactly how Eli believed he’d be. Thrawn caught his eye and lifted a hand in a small wave across the room. Eli’s heart warmed and he grinned in return.</p>
<p>Thunderous stomping like the sound of a stampede made Thrawn spin around, not entirely sure what he’d be turning around to face. A dozen children sprinted past, their shouts and shrill laughter echoing in his ears. Spotting his son among the horde of children, Thrawn caught him about the waist and waited until all the others had passed before crouching low in front of the boy, earning himself a look of impatient exasperation.</p>
<p>“You have a moment for patience,” Thrawn calmly told his restless boy. He tossed his head back in the direction of the open field where the children were now playing. “What do you see?”</p>
<p>Lani sighed in frustration as he looked out at the boys and girls playing in the yard. Thrawn watched his face, watched his crimson eyes move across the field of battle, knew his mind was working the same way Thrawn’s did, saw his brow furrow and then relax. </p>
<p>“I’ve got it,” he said, taking a step forward, attempting to pull his arm from Thrawn’s grasp. </p>
<p>“Hey,” Thrawn said, chuckling. “Slow down, my sun-”</p>
<p>“‘-and all my stars.’ Yes, I know, father,” Lani whined. “May I please go now?”</p>
<p>Thrawn waited with typical Thrawn-like poise until Lani had stopped struggling before actually releasing him, but the boy remained at his side. </p>
<p>Their red eyes met. “I love you, too, father,” his son conceded softly, cheeks warming in the infrared just like Eli’s used to. </p>
<p>Thrawn smiled at that, heart swelling in his chest with a multitude of wondrous emotion that he didn’t dare limit to a single, known word. “Go on, then.”</p>
<p>Thrawn straightened as his husband and lifemate stepped up beside him.</p>
<p>“He’s gonna be just like you, you know,” Eli murmured, meaning it more as a gentle warning than anything else. </p>
<p>Together, they watched their son rip the flag from his cousin’s waist, thrust it into the air above his head and toss a grin over his shoulder at his watchful parents. </p>
<p>Thrawn’s eyes glittered. “No, he will be like us both. He will be extraordinary.” </p>
<p>And so he was. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>The End.</em>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this sweet and heartfelt ending.</p>
<p>Couple things: Eli and Thrawn call their son by his given name: Lani, which is pronounced ‘Loni’ (named after a certain fallen Admiral and friend.) Also, ten points to you if you guessed the name of the game Lani wanted to play with Thrawn.</p>
<p>Comments are totally welcomed now that this is finished! I would love to hear your thoughts on any of it, just please be nice. &lt;3 </p>
<p>Also, I just wanna say a quick thanks to everyone who stuck around for the end of this. This is my favorite part out of the 4 and honestly this chapter is probably my favorite out of them all, so I hope it was worth keeping up with! As I’ve said before, I’ll try to get Whatever Necessary finished for those of you who still might be curious as to how that ends. </p>
<p>Disclaimer: Thrawn’s sentiment for his son is derived from the poem by E. E. Cummings, "You are My Sun, My Moon, and All My Stars."</p>
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